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Mashup-Germany – Who Knew Someone Like You…
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I ran across the poem The Benjamin Franklin of Monogamy written by Jeffrey McDaniel back in July of 2005 and wanted it share it with all of you. Jeffrey McDaniel is quite the published author under Manic D Press. Many of his poems have appeared in highly regarded publications such as The Best American Poetry 1994, An Anthology of new (American) Poets, The new Young American Poets, and American Poetry: The Next Generation. I’m not too big on poetry, but when I read this piece I felt like many people could relate to it. Enjoy!

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As always, I’m here to write because I’ve been thinking a lot lately. This time around it’s not because I’m stressed out or feeling negative. It’s because I’m inspired, motivated, and ready for a change. A change for the better. I used to see the negative out of a lot of things rather than the positive and those thoughts were poison seeping into my mind. Those no longer exist. For example, my brother and I purchased a tape converter for the car, since we don’t have a CD player, so we could play music off our iPhones/iPods. We’ve had it for well over a year now and something started to go wrong with the chord and we can’t hear music come out of our speakers that well. Rather than saying “oh, what a piece of crap this thing sucks” why not look at it and say “wow, this thing was really worth the $20 we paid for it! It’s allowed us to play countless hours of our music that we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to!” Back to the point.

In this day and age it’s very easy to get down on yourself and feel…hopeless. To feel like the world is against you and that nobody cares when in fact, they really do. It’s hard to really see beyond a person, their intentions, and who they really are. Fortunately, I’d like to give myself the credit for knowing I can easily tell a person’s character after shortly meeting with them and and get a feel for who they really are from the motives behind their drive.

What I’m getting at is that my brother and I have seen much success (not as much as we’d like, but we’re taking baby steps) with our website Drop Beats Not Bombs. Both of us have also seen a lot of success in our careers and from the perspective of growing as an individuals this past year. We’ve been through a lot, trust me. What I’ve realized through the development of my career, ambitions, and experiences is there are genuinely good-hearted individuals out in the world. People who want to help you reach your goals, keep you motivated, and truly see your vision. Though sometimes it may be hard to believe this and look beyond all the bullshit that may have previously occurred, you need find the needle(s) in the haystack. And when you do, it’s well worth it. The friendships and relationships you develop by networking are priceless.

So, when in doubt please know there’s always hope. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep pushing harder and harder to accomplish what you set out to accomplish and become who you desire to become.

Related posts:

1. A False Sense of Hope
2. Unfaltering Faith and Other Things…
3. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!

In my opinion, though in a time of sorrow and mourning, the eulogy Ted Kennedy gave for his brother Robert Kennedy’s memorial on June 8, 1968 at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, New York is an all time great. Personally, I’d dub it the greatest speech of all time, but I haven’t listened to nor have I read many speeches to compare it with. I’ve been meaning to share this for a while now and it just so happened that I was going through some of my old audio files back from 2006 and came across a snippet of the speech that I could listen to over and over again. For some reason I draw quite the inspiration from this speech and maybe you will as well.

Your Eminences, Your Excellencies, Mr. President:

On behalf of Mrs. Kennedy, her children, the parents and sisters of Robert Kennedy, I want to express what we feel to those who mourn with us today in this Cathedral and around the world.

We loved him as a brother, and as a father, and as a son. From his parents, and from his older brothers and sisters — Joe and Kathleen and Jack — he received an inspiration which he passed on to all of us. He gave us strength in time of trouble, wisdom in time of uncertainty, and sharing in time of happiness. He will always be by our side.

Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is loyalty, or trust, or joy. But he was all of these. He loved life completely and he lived it intensely.

A few years back, Robert Kennedy wrote some words about his own father which expresses [sic] the way we in his family felt about him. He said of what his father meant to him, and I quote: “What it really all adds up to is love — not love as it is described with such facility in popular magazines, but the kind of love that is affection and respect, order and encouragement, and support. Our awareness of this was an incalculable source of strength, and because real love is something unselfish and involves sacrifice and giving, we could not help but profit from it.” And he continued, “Beneath it all, he has tried to engender a social conscience. There were wrongs which needed attention. There were people who were poor and needed help. And we have a responsibility to them and to this country. Through no virtues and accomplishments of our own, we have been fortunate enough to be born in the United States under the most comfortable conditions. We, therefore, have a responsibility to others who are less well off.”

That is what Robert Kennedy was given. What he leaves to us is what he said, what he did, and what he stood for. A speech he made to the young people of South Africa on their Day of Affirmation in 1966 sums it up the best, and I would like to read it now:

“There is discrimination in this world and slavery and slaughter and starvation. Governments repress their people; millions are trapped in poverty while the nation grows rich and wealth is lavished on armaments everywhere. These are differing evils, but they are the common works of man. They reflect the imperfection of human justice, the inadequacy of human compassion, our lack of sensibility towards the suffering of our fellows. But we can perhaps remember — even if only for a time — that those who live with us are our brothers; that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek — as we do — nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men. And surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again. The answer is to rely on youth — not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease. The cruelties and obstacles of this swiftly changing planet will not yield to the obsolete dogmas and outworn slogans. They cannot be moved by those who cling to a present that is already dying, who prefer the illusion of security to the excitement and danger that come with even the most peaceful progress.

It is a revolutionary world we live in, and this generation at home and around the world has had thrust upon it a greater burden of responsibility than any generation that has ever lived. Some believe there is nothing one man or one woman can do against the enormous array of the world’s ills. Yet many of the world’s great movements, of thought and action, have flowed from the work of a single man. A young monk began the Protestant reformation; a young general extended an empire from Macedonia to the borders of the earth; a young woman reclaimed the territory of France; and it was a young Italian explorer who discovered the New World, and the 32 year-old Thomas Jefferson who [pro]claimed that “all men are created equal.”

These men moved the world, and so can we all. Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation. *It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped.* Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

Few are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change. And I believe that in this generation those with the courage to enter the moral conflict will find themselves with companions in every corner of the globe.

For the fortunate among us, there is the temptation to follow the easy and familiar paths of personal ambition and financial success so grandly spread before those who enjoy the privilege of education. But that is not the road history has marked out for us. Like it or not, we live in times of danger and uncertainty. But they are also more open to the creative energy of men than any other time in history. All of us will ultimately be judged, and as the years pass we will surely judge ourselves on the effort we have contributed to building a new world society and the extent to which our ideals and goals have shaped that event.

*The future does not belong to those who are content with today, apathetic toward common problems and their fellow man alike, timid and fearful in the face of new ideas and bold projects. Rather it will belong to those who can blend vision, reason and courage in a personal commitment to the ideals and great enterprises of American Society.* Our future may lie beyond our vision, but it is not completely beyond our control. It is the shaping impulse of America that neither fate nor nature nor the irresistible tides of history, but the work of our own hands, matched to reason and principle, that will determine our destiny. There is pride in that, even arrogance, but there is also experience and truth. In any event, it is the only way we can live.”

That is the way he lived. That is what he leaves us.

My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it.

Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world.

As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him:

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There’s been a part of my sub-conscious lately that, for some odd reason, keeps letting doubt creep into my mind! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Let me repeat that just one more time. I hate it! Now that that’s out we’ll move on. Many of you have probably read some of my previous posts so I’m sure you’ve been able to make your own assessment of what kind of person I am (hopefully it’s good). For that reason I’ll save both you and I some time and won’t get into the whole spiel about how I’m this and that and how you should take my word for it. Moving on…

Getting back to the point and the direction I want to go with this post. Our society often creates a false sense of hope in the minds of unsuspecting victims. Unfortunately, myself included. Creating ideas through elaborate marketing and advertising schemes or even by ways or the means of friends and family. What I mean by this is that we all have high hopes, dreams, and expectations for our future. For example, there’s not one person who can’t say they haven’t watched some show (think Entourage) and while watching that show said to themselves, “I want to live that lifestyle” or “Someday I’ll drive an Aston Martin” or “I want girls and to party like rock star.” How about flipping through a magazine and you see something, we’ll say for this example, a Harry Winston diamond ring that God forbid one day you will own. Maybe you drove past a house (a mansion for better sake of a term) and said to yourself, “Daaanngg that’s what I want my house to look like!” YES! One day it will all be ours…just wait…one day…

It’s sad these materialistic objects become the focus of our lives. That we take the most simplest of things for granted–like going for a walk outside or spending time with loved ones. You can travel to a third world country and in some areas find human beings, yes you read correctly, HUMAN BEINGS who are genuinely happy with their day to day lives with the simplest of things. They don’t have the material objects we want and desire, but don’t necessarily need. They don’t know what a cell-phone or iPod is or even what they look like for that matter. These are technologies that we submerse ourselves in everyday and something that they’ll never probably get to experience. It’s great that we have big dreams, goals, and future with all the fancy, hip, and cool stuff. But it’s also pathetic that we don’t take the time to sit back and realize that we’re truly lucky to be where we’re at today, regardless of the situations we’re currently struggling to get through as individuals and as a society.

I think and dream big. I hope you do to. Because there’s nothing wrong with that. However, as I mentioned before there’s been some doubt that has managed to find it’s way into my mind. We’re not bad people to want and desire all the material things portrayed in the media every single day. Are we? It’s good to want that stuff because it means you want more out of your life. That you aren’t going to settle for average. Simply put…it’s motivational. For me, the doubt that I have allowed to creep into my mind has slapped me across the face. Not once, but twice. As much as I am entrepreneurial, business minded, and goal oriented I’ve been pulled back down to reality. “Realistically where am I going to be in 10 years?,” is the kind of thought that is going through my head. Versus the optimistic view of what was previously going through my head, “I’m going to start a business, get rich, and in 2 years have everything I ever wanted!” Yeah…right…unless I’m real lucky. The odds of that being one in a million. I’ve realized that it’s going to take time, effort, and dedication to get where I want to be. It’s just hard for me to accept that in the end I may fail despite my efforts or whether or not I put more blood, sweat, and tears into whatever it is I end up doing than someone else who may have got lucky or put forth less time and effort.

The realization that I’ve come to is that sometimes we get get trapped into a sense of belief or hope that we can’t escape or are too stubborn to admit otherwise. The belief that I will own a multi-million dollar company one day and drive my Lamborghini to work. I intend on making that a reality… it’s great and all, but realistically and statistically the odds are against us. Stubbornness can hurt you and learning to let go and move on (knowing when to quit) is one characteristic one must acquire. Sometimes you ARE the stronger person for letting go than trying to hold on. Here’s the definition of insanity by Albert Einstein, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I know he intended the interpretation of that quote another way, but you can’t keep doing something that you know deep down inside isn’t going to change. We’ve all been stuck in that position before. Don’t create a false sense of hope or even a false sense of reality and tell yourself it’s going to work! On the flip side, we wouldn’t be where we are today without the efforts of great minds and individuals before us who just wouldn’t give up. Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times when trying to create the light bulb. There are unique and amazing stories like that and don’t get me wrong you could be one of them. I could be one of them. Actually, let’s be one of them.

As you can tell I see both sides. Never give up because if you’re doing something you believe in you should give it your all and put your effort into it. But then again if something isn’t working why keep wasting time, which is priceless, and keep trying? We only get one life (yes I know I’m pointing out the obvious) and I guess that’s up to you what you want to spend your time doing with it. Life is tough and making decisions is tough. A lot of the time we get thrown rocks when we were expecting marbles. It’s what you do with those rocks to polish them down and create your marbles.

I don’t even know if this whole thing made any sense. It’s just what’s been going through my mind lately and I wanted to get it out and write about it. It didn’t really come out the way I expected it to, but maybe I can come back at a later time and edit this bad boy. To me, sometimes we lose our own perception of reality because we get lost in a false sense of hope and create ideas and thoughts (think Inception) that aren’t real. Or that we get stuck doing something because others have created an environment that makes you feel guilty if you give up.

Disclosure: I began working on this post back in November 2010. I let some of my posts sit in the queue…It’s refreshing to come back with a clear mind and re-edit posts I was having a hard time completing. Think of it as wine…aging in the queue whilst getting better as time progresses.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!
2. What is the Key to Staying Motivated?
3. Become a Quitter at Quitting

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This post is a few weeks overdue (now long overdue–I wrote this mid January and forgot to publish it). I wanted to take the time to thank everyone who has purposely or unintentionally come to my website this past year in 2010. This past year has been a roller coaster and this is one of the places I come to let the steam out. I used to hate writing posts because it felt like a job, “Ohh man I need to update my blog, what the hell am I going to write about?” always went through my head. I always thought of myself as a horrible writer as well and I would force myself to write. Another reason why I used to never like writing on here was that I thought my diction and syntax sucked! It still does… Sometimes I guess I don’t give myself enough credit and usually have the thought that I could have written my posts better.

Anyway, writing here puts me at ease and as corny as it sounds, at peace. It seems like my head gets cluttered with too many thoughts and emotions that I store inside and never let out. It’s overwhelming when I try to keep it locked inside rather than share it with others. I’ve come to realize that many people probably feel the same way I do about things but aren’t comfortable sharing it to the public or may just not have someone to express themselves to. Whatever it is that’s going through your head and want to scream out loud…To that I say you’re not alone. I used to be uncomfortable and embarrassed to let my friends know I had a blog. Now I feel fine sharing my posts on my Facebook page for the whole world to see! Regardless, it has been a rewarding experience. I know that people are coming here and actually reading my articles thanks to the emails and comments I receive. So again, for you silent readers out there, or ninjas for a better word…thanks for taking the time to listen and hear my voice.

I never thought that my blog would reach this…milestone? This past year in 2010 my blog received a total of 25,004 unique visitors. Those visitors generated a total of 51,758 pageviews (1.94 pageviews per visit). Unfortunately, the average time spent on my site was only a mere 42 seconds. BUT, looking at the last two months, November and December, of 2010 I had a total of 3,242 unique visitors that generated a total of 10,240 pageviews (an average of 2+ pageviews per visit). That’s pretty good! The average time spent on my blog for the last two months was 1 minute and 7 seconds. Quality over quantity. What seizes to amaze me though, is my bounce rate. For those of you who don’t know what Bounce Rate means–it “is a term used in web site traffic analysis. It essentially represents the percentage of initial visitors to a site who “bounce” away to a different site, rather than continue on to other pages within the same site.” The bounce rate for my blog is only 3.59%, which means that 96.41% of people who visit my blog stay here upon the initial page they landed on! I could get into more in depth analysis, but it would probably bore you to death.

As I mentioned before, I know many of you come here and don’t leave comments. That’s fine! I just wanted to let all of you know that I appreciate you taking the time to read my posts. Contacting me directly through my contact form is always welcome. What motivates me most is the fact that I know I’m providing support, inspiration, motivation, and empowering complete strangers around the world!! It’s most rewarding when I wake up in the morning and check my inbox to see an email from someone who reached my site thanking me or telling me to keep up the good work. In some small way I’m able to make a difference and that’s all that really matters.

With that said, I look forward to a fantastic 2011. Follow your hearts, always dream big, and accomplish your goals. In regards to life in general, here’s a quote from Transformers “Fifty years from now, when you’re looking back at your life, don’t you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?” Take a second to think about it. Just think about it. Live life with no regrets

30 Seconds to Mars – Closer to the Edge

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The 30th June 2009 is the date I was confirmed as dying. My surgeon declared me inoperable, terminally ill and with at most six months to live. It is on this day my story starts.

I knew immediately, as I caught my sister’s worried gaze, that the operation had not been a success. There were whispered conversations behind the door between my wife Cheryl and the surgeon. The cancer had spread through out my body and was inoperable. I knew my condition was terminal before the oncologist confirmed I had stage 4 colon cancer and had maybe six months to live. As far as the medical profession was concerned and indeed everyone else, I was dying.

FACING DEATH
When told that I had six months to live, I was naturally overcome with fear. I was afraid of death but also afraid of life with a terminal illness. There were only two responses: either fatalistically accept my fate and make plans for a graceful exit or convince myself that as an individual with ‘free will’ I have the power to control and change my destiny and actively set about healing myself. The weight of medical opinion, logic and society dictated the first course of action and I diligently wrote my will, applied to liquidate my life insurance policy on the grounds that I was dying, told my business partner I wanted to sell my share of our expanding business and half-heartedly discussed the possibilities of buying medicinal opium and booking a hospice for my final moments. However while doing these tasks I also strongly believed that my life journey had got seriously confused and that the plot definitely did not end in this manner. I had too much to learn and too much to give. Surely there were many episodes and experiences yet to come. So I also actively tried to change my life, my attitude, and to learn to live with cancer.

THE TREATMENT
I began to conceive my treatment as being conducted on three levels: physical, mental and spiritual. Physically I was paying attention to my body. Initially my body was racked with pain and fear, especially before the operation. My wife gave me massages with oils and guided me through breathing exercises that helped reduce the pain and panic attacks. Later I was swimming and walking regularly. I was also eating more natural foods especially fruit and vegetables and the so-called “wonder food’ dried apricot seeds that reputedly combats cancer naturally (fortunately available in Turkey but not widespread in the West!). I briefly researched special diets. These typically proclaimed banning staples such as sugar and salt but in the end I just ate what I felt like. The rationale treatment (mental) was provided by medical science. I was prescribed intensive chemotherapy over two days every two weeks over a six-month period: a cocktail of Avastin and FOLFOX 6. Being aware of the horror stories of chemotherapy involving hair loss and gradual disintegration of the body, I was relieved to merely experience bouts of tiredness, diahorrea and a tingling sensation in the hands and feet which were not severe enough to stop me from continuing to go to work. It was on the spiritual level that I believe much of the important healing occurred. Even the medical profession, the paragons of empirical science, accepts that a ‘positive attitude’ to treatment is an important factor in a patient’s recovery. How can you have a ‘positive attitude’ to terminal cancer and chemotherapy? And more worryingly, if I accept that I have the power to influence my healing process and the course of my life, then by extension I also have to accept the horrifying thought that I am also, in some way, responsible for the cancer being allowed into my body in the first place. I meditated once a week, with the help of an instrument called a Zapper, which gives off an electric pulse for 7 minutes three times in twenty-minute intervals. The theory is that the cancer is a parasite that clings on to the cell tissue; the vibration causes them to dislodge from the cells and disappear. I did not find this explanation very convincing but the discipline of sitting still for an hour and grasping electrodes became part of my meditative routine. I also used a technique I refer to as ‘affirmations’. When I was swimming I would mentally chant the following affirmation to myself:

Later I discovered a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which is reputedly related to acupuncture. You tap certain pressure points on your body while chanting positive affirmations. While swimming and meditating I also used visualization. I would visualize my cancer as black flies clambering around my colon and throughout my body, then I would visualize them forming a swarm and flying down my arm and out of my body and through a nearby window. Undoubtedly the greatest influence on my health and well-being was the incredible love and support of family and friends. I remember tears of gratitude at the amazing response when friends (and also complete strangers who had heard of my condition through the grapevine) filled the hospital’s blood bank with their donations of blood. Unquestionably the greatest positive influence on my health was Cheryl, my wife, who supported me with love and energy at every stage along the journey. Fortunately, for me, Cheryl is a holistic health practitioner who was able to introduce and guide me through the healing processes.

THE MIRACLE
On 17th February 2010, eight months after the aborted operation where I was declared clinically inoperable and terminally ill, I was admitted into Capa, a Turkish University teaching hospital, and anxiously operated on by the same surgeon, Turker Bey. This time after the operation it was smiles all round. The main primary cancer tumours in the colon and the tumour in the bladder were successfully removed along with 30% of my intestines. Subsequent analysis of the intestines in pathology revealed, to the incredulity of the medical team, that they contained 0% cancer cells. The cancer had gone! The surgeon admitted that in the space of 8 months I had gone from terminally ill to cured and was at a loss to explain how it was possible! Other doctors, who I have spoken to subsequently, either do not believe my account or question the accuracy of the original diagnosis. However I have all the medical reports and radiology scans to verify my experiences.
To read the full account: http://tomgodfrey.wordpress.com/

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This quote was taken from the movie Step Up 3D. My brother and I watched it last week and at first I wasn’t too sure what to expect. I like the quote “To travel is better than to arrive,” because it truly is about the journey we take in life. Sometimes the journey isn’t what we expected. I, for one, know that first hand. However, it’s the knowledge we gain, the people we meet, and the mistakes we learn from that gets us to where we want to be in life.

In my opinion, when we just have the destination in mind it skews the direction we want to go in and the way we ultimately perceive things. By only seeing the destination in mind we don’t realize the obstacles we’re going to have to go through to get there. I think this quote truly defines that we won’t get anywhere in life without having to work hard for whatever it is we want to achieve or where we want to get. We WILL have to work hard and put in the effort to learn. We WILL meet people, make friendships, and build relationships–some that last and some that don’t, unfortunately. And we WILL make mistakes. With those mistakes (and failures) we’ll have to learn to pick ourselves back up.

I also think that this quote is telling us not to take the simple things in life for granted. Every day we’re fortunate enough to just take a breathe of fresh air. A lot of us don’t think about the lives we live on a daily basis (sometimes thinking we’re miserable). We don’t realize that there are kids and families around the world who barely make $1 dollar a day, don’t have food on the table (or even a table to enjoy meals at), and their main focus is survival. We’re so caught up about the way we look and what others may think about us when in reality it doesn’t matter. We often think too much about the future and what’s up ahead than just enjoying the now.

What makes life so precious? It’s the journey we go through. What we experience and what we gain from those experiences while headed towards the destination. The end result.

I’d like to hear what your thoughts are about this quote and even the experiences and journeys you’ve gone through in life! Feel free to share in the comments below! I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from anyone who reads this!

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1. ABC’s FlashForward Letter Al Wrote to Celia
2. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!

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After four months with The Southern California Group I decided to thrown in the towel and call it quits. I could walk door-to-door all day long if I wanted to. I don’t have a problem with that. However, after pondering for about two weeks I came to conclusion that there were too many variables that weren’t within my control. Aside from the variables beyond my control everything else was great. I didn’t know jack diddle squat going into the job and came out with a wealth of knowledge, skills, and experience that I would have found hard to come by at any other job. This was raw get your hands and feet dirty stuff. You grind it out until you make it. What I love about it is that I have the experience and skills to take with me anywhere I go in life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again that on a daily basis, we as individuals or business owners, are selling our dreams, visions, ideas, products, and services to others. In doing so it’s a transfer of our enthusiasm that makes or breaks a deal. Just like Ted said, if one of your friends called you up and said to get over to the party because no one else is there and bring friends along you probably wouldn’t go. BUT, if a friend called you up and was yelling with excitement to get over to the party as soon as possible that there were a lot of girls, the alcohol was flowing, and it was going off you’d be jumping off the couch in a heartbeat. Sold.

The knowledge, skills, and experience I gained from my time with The Southern California Group was priceless. I learned boatload of stuff in such a short amount of time. I gained knowledge of sales, developed leadership skills that were hiding deep within that I didn’t know I had, and now carry with me a thick skin that’s difficult to penetrate. I built relationships and gained friendships that will last a lifetime.

It’s funny how you can tell your friends and family what you do for a living and everyone can nod or say that they understand. I laugh because I know not everybody in a roomful of friends or family really understands or have experienced working 60-70 hour work weeks going door-to-door. A salesman can look at another salesman in the eye and both knows and understands exactly what each has been through. There’s a common ground that we can all relate to and understand the hardships and difficult times through the highs and lows of our job. One of my favorite quotes, “Never criticize a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” You don’t know and you probably will never know.

Going in on Monday (November 1, 2010) was more difficult than I could imagine. When I got out of my car and started walking towards the building I had to stop for a little bit to gather myself. I felt anxiety. “Wait, what? Why am I feeling like this right now?” was going through my head as my heart kept beating faster. In a few moments I was going to tell David and Ted, both of whom I look up to, admire, and consider friends, that I was calling it quits. It was hard to go one-on-one with David in his office, look him in the eyes, and let him know of the news. I felt guilty and to some extent like I was letting David down. I felt pain, sadness, and maybe even somewhat a little depressed on the drive home. A million thoughts were running through my head about whether or not I made the right decision. In the end, what I’ve learned, is that you have to look out for yourself. Bottom line. You make a decision and move on or the world is going to pass you by.

Now that my time with The Southern California Group is over I can look back and appreciate everything I learned and experienced first hand. I have the future ahead of me and can only hope for the best. Things always work out. It’s weird how they always do even when you don’t think they will. I guess it’s all about faith. Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.

Looking back, I have calmed down quite a bit. From that I mean that I am a very optimistic individual, but also a realist when it comes down to it. I used to think that I was going to get rich fast. That all my dreams and fantasies would come true overnight. What I’ve learned the past four months is that nothing comes instantly (success for this post’s sake), without hard work. When reality hits, it hits you hard. The shitty thing is that it keeps hitting you and you have to learn to get back up. Over and over again or you lie on the ground defeated and a failure. Take a moment and think about someone you look up to, see as a model figure, or a mentor. They didn’t get to where they are at by sitting around doing nothing. They were proactive and gave it their all to get where they are today.

Here’s a little rant I hope you don’t mind in the middle of this post. Take a look at star athletes. Many of them never started on their high school teams and were told they weren’t good enough to play. Now, we see many of those athletes and hear about their stories in the media. Many athletes have natural talent. They take that talent for granted and don’t work as hard as other athletes. A naturally gifted athlete misses a shot, strikes out, or fails in some way or another they brush it off and wait for the next game. Many of the star athletes miss a shot, strike out, or fails in some way or another they’re taking shots, hitting balls, or practicing when everybody else has showered and gone home. Why are the misfits usually better? Because they had to work twice as hard to get where they were at. It takes a strong will, strong work ethic, and dedication. You can’t let others pull you down to their level. They wanted to prove the critics wrong. So what did it take? Laser focus on the goal at hand to be the best. An unrelenting work ethic. Their goal had to be higher than any obstacle in their way. In their mind the end picture was 100% clear.

When making a decision you must follow your heart. You can’t let anyone hold you back from your true potential. Remember, you are what you say and believe you are. If your heart is telling you to do something… heck freakin’ go for it. You’ll never know what could have been unless you tried. What you make of life is totally up to you and the decisions you make. Control your destiny by taking action now. You can’t wait for something to happen you have to make something happen.

Cultivate and encompass a mindset that you are what you say you are. That you can become what you say you will become. And lastly, act as if. Act as if you’re anything you say you are. When you believe in something it becomes your perception and what your perception of something is becomes your reality.

In due time success and happiness will cross paths in my life. For now, I understand that it truly is in due time. All the small things I do today, tomorrow, a week from now, will get me to the end result I desire. “Victory is not always winning the race. Sometimes it’s simply beating your best.” (Gloria Plaisted)

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Photo By DeviantArt User LemonTeacup

If you have the keys to self-confidence, you’ll be able to open doors of opportunity that you were convinced were locked – at least to you. So why not uncover the keys, learn how they work, and open those doors? Here are 10 keys. Once you’ve mastered them, those doors will open much easier.

1. Understand how self-confidence works. Self-confidence is a necessary ingredient for success. It sells. It’s something you can sense a bout a person upon entering a room and is evident through body language and speech. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. It’s important for you to know that you can create self-confidence. You don’t have to be born with it – everyone is capable of learning how to be incredibly self-confident.

2. Make your confidence goal a priority. People who can achieve their goals are highly motivated to do so. If you tell yourself you should, could, or would if…then your desire for confidence may remain, but your achievement of it stays just a dream. Once you’re committed to your goal, only then can you begin to make it a reality.

3. Change the way you think about yourself. You must change the image you have of yourself. Are you aware of what you’re thinking before and during times you don’t feel confident? If it’s negative, you must reprogram your mind. Choose to think positive thoughts.

4. Speak positively. Do you carefully choose what you’ll say before you speak? Most people just dump whatever they’re thinking into their mouths. We hear more negative messages throughout the day than positive ones unless we make a conscious effort to do so. Thinking and reacting follow one another. If your thoughts are negative, your speech will reflect it. You choose how you will react to what happens to you in life and you will create what happens next, according to your thoughts, words, and actions.

5. Change your body language. You’ve heard the expression, “actions speak louder than words.” Body language speaks volumes and is always believed more than what we may say. Closed postures, folded arms, and lack of eye contact give negative messages. Open postures , eye contact, ad smiles are inviting and encourage interaction.

6. Change your voice tone. Thirty percent of communication has to do with the tone of your voice. Record your voice and listen to it. What changes to your voice would make it sound more confident? Listen to others who you admire. How do their voices communicate confidence to you?

7. Change situations that support your lack of confidence. People either pull you down or build you up. If you find that you’re in a situation where you’re discouraged rather than encouraged, you’re allowing someone else to influence or determine your destiny. Give yourself the opportunity to grow and be happy. It’s your choice.

8. Practice confidence. You must act as you have confidence before you’ll have it. You’ll be creating new habit patterns for yourself. You’ve heard the expression, “fake it until you make it.” You have to act as if you have confidence. Practice what a confident person would say or do to achieve it.

9. Plan confidence-building situations. It’s much easier to practice building confidence in new situations with people who don’t know you rather than with people who already know you and have pre-conceived opinions of you. There’s less stress on you, too.

10. Focus on achieving your dreams. Lots of people have a dream – but too many people give up on them. They simply stop trying because they don’t possess the confidence to continue. An obstacle or two is enough for some. Others are puzzled as they try one avenue after another with little success. Those who are willing to learn the skills to confidence and success will succeed. Aristotle said, “What we have to learn to do we learn by doing.” Experience is the best teacher. There are only two ways to learn something. The first and most common way is by trial and error. The second way, which is much faster and easier, is to discover your answers from someone who has already learned those lessons and helped many others do the same.

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Photo by Flickr User $ Bill

You can’t play hard unless you work. Bottom line. The purpose of this post is to hopefully pass down some knowledge I have gained through the last 4 years of my life. Mainly, my college days and through my first 10 months as a college graduate in the oh-so-dreaded “real world”. First of all, I can tell why we, as a society, refer to life after college the real world. That’s because, in fact, everything you once knew and grew accustomed to will change. Whether you like it or not. Think back to the days when you were a little kid..there was absolutely NOTHING you had to worry about. Except whose house you and your friends were going to have the next sleepover at and play truth or dare. A few years pass by on you and you finally made it to high school. You went out on Friday nights to the football game with your friends and partied afterwards, but made sure you made it home by curfew (if you had one). Still nothing really to worry about. Some of us had jobs but for the most part that money went into a savings account or towards food and clothing-the material things we want, but not necessarily need. As the years went by you may have heard your parents tell you something about when you’re grown up you’ll have bills to pay and when you graduate you’ll be an adult! In one ear out the other, right? Yeah. Then the day comes when you graduate college and reality hits. Hits you fucking hard. The hours you work increase and the bills pile up. Questions and thoughts start going through your head when times are tough financially. I have $50 in my checking..should I pay for my cable bill (something of which I don’t need to survive) but love to have for leisure time or go to the grocery store and purchase food for the upcoming week. You get the point. You’ll hit rock bottom and have to find a way to get back on both feet. If you haven’t hit rock bottom yet I promise you that you will. And if you don’t you’re one lucky son of a bitch.

So frequently we hear the phrase “work hard play hard”. I love that phrase because we all in some sense work hard and when we do have time off such as the weekends, holidays, or vacation play hard. It’s a rinse and repeat cycle. However, I started to think about work hard play hard…It occurred to me that I work my ass off 60-70 hour weeks and when I have my free time to play hard I usually just sleep in or don’t really have the energy to do anything because I want to relax and re-cooperate. It came to my realization that to work hard in order to play hard makes sense logically, but as young adults why not concentrate on play hard, when the opportunity is there and to work harder in all other aspects of our lives. We’re focused on our careers, setting short-term and long-term goals, and setting ourselves up for the future, whatever that may bring. We played hard the last four years in college. It didn’t matter what day of the week we got “slizzard”. Our play hard days are behind us and the work hard days are here to stay. There’s a fine balance between playing hard and working hard once you’re in the real world. Many of us have aspirations to be successful in one way or another whether it’s successful in finding happiness, in our careers, or having a family. For me personally, it’s to be a successful business owner and entrepreneur. To be retired before I’m 30 so I have the rest of my life to play hard. I want to work hard right now while most of my friends are playing hard so in the long-term I’m playing hard and retired while others are on the 50 year retirement plan.

It’s all about DISCIPLINE and SACRIFICE.

The most successful people have the discipline and will to sacrifice many of the things they enjoy doing in order to get where they’re at today. It’s a trade-off that many people can’t muster the strength to do themselves. I’m a victim of my own habits. I have grand ideas and dreams, but I find myself not willing to sacrifice the time needed to get where I see myself in the future. Something needs to change. My habits, my attitude, my mentality, and my willingness to sacrifice the things I once wouldn’t pass up. Discipline is also an important role that we must instill in ourselves. When you want to do something, but know you shouldn’t the will power to stop yourself will separate you from the rest. You must take control of your own life and lead by example.

I used to think that I was going to get rich quick. I didn’t know how, but I had a misconceived perception of reality and thought that somehow I would be able to live in my mansion and buy my Lamborghini. The real world has taught me, fairly quickly, that no matter what you do you’re going to have to work hard to get what you want in life. To stick with something instead of jumping around from one thing to another. If money is what you’re after there is no secret to getting rich. The only secret is to work hard. We’ve all heard the expression that money will follow. Here’s a quote that I find quite inspiring and let you dwell on as well. “Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.”

Lately, I’ve been trying to balance my life. Since the last writing on my blog I’ve gone camping in La Jolla with everyone from the office and tubed down the river, attended Nocturnal 2010 and saw Kaskade perform at The Hollywood Palladium last night with a few other things inbetween those events. I’ve come to fall in love with music, the beats, and people at these events. We’re all part of a society that we’re trapped in doing the conventional things every-freaking-single-day. At music festivals the atmosphere is euphoric. Walk through the gates and everyone forgets about all the shit and drama going on at home and work and enjoys their time listening to and feeling the music. Tune your ears, close your eyes, and raise your hands in the air; you’re free.

My brother and I, aside from working our jobs, are working on a side project that will hopefully get us back on our feet. Success isn’t always about the money. Success is sometimes just finding something you can have fun with, love doing, and with the people you care about most. I’ll be writing more about this project in the future. Right now everything is baking in the oven.

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