To let you know how far I’ve come, let me tell you where I’ve been.

Not that long ago, there were nights I went to sleep in strange places praying I wouldn’t wake up. After another night of bad decisions, I’d lie down with my heart speeding inside my chest like it was about to burst through the skin. My thinking was clouded, and my talent was one day closer to being totally wasted.

I prayed to be spared another day of guilt and depression and addiction. I couldn’t continue living the life of a crack addict, and I couldn’t stop, either. It was a horrible downward spiral that I had to pull out of, or die. I lay there—in a hot and dirty trailer in the North Carolina countryside, in a stranger’s house, in the cab of my pickup—and prayed the Lord would take me away from the nightmare my life had become.

When I think of those terrible times, there’s one memory that stands out. I was walking down the double-yellow of a two-lane country highway outside Raleigh when I woke up out of a trance.

I was so out of it I had lost consciousness, but my body had kept going, down the middle of the road, cars whizzing by on either side. I had run out of gas on my way to a drug dealer’s house, and from there I left the truck and started walking. I had taken Klonopin, a prescription antianxiety drug, along with whatever else I was using at the time, and the combination had put me over the edge. It’s the perfect example of what I was: a dead man walking.

And now, as I stand on the green grass of a major league outfield or walk to the batter’s box with people cheering for me, I repeatedly ask myself one simple question: How did I get here from there? I’ve been in the big leagues as a member of the Cincinnati Reds for half a season, but I still find myself taking off my cap between pitches and taking a good look around. The uniform, the ballparks, the fans—it doesn’t seem real. How am I here? It makes no sense to anybody, and I feel almost guilty when I have to tell people, over and over, that I can’t answer that one simple question.

I go to sleep every night with a clear mind and a clear conscience. Every day, I walk into an immaculate clubhouse with 10 TVs and all the food I can eat, a far cry from the rat-infested hellholes of my user past. I walk to my locker and change into a perfectly clean and pressed uniform that someone else hung up for me. I grab a bat and a glove and walk onto a beautifully manicured field to play a game for a living.

How am I here? I can only shrug and say, “It’s a God thing.” It’s the only possible explanation.

There’s a reason my prayers weren’t answered during those dark, messed-up nights I spent scared out of my mind. There’s a reason I have this blessed and unexpected opportunity to play baseball and tell people my story.

My wife, Katie, told me this day would come. At my lowest point, about three years ago, when I was wasting away to skin and bones and listening to nobody, she told me I’d be back playing baseball someday. She had no reason to believe in me. During that time, I did nothing to build my body and everything to destroy it. I’d go five or six months without picking up a ball or swinging a bat. By then, I’d been in rehab five or six times—on my way to eight—and failed to get clean. I was a bad husband and a bad father, and I had no relationship with God. Baseball wasn’t even on my mind.

And still Katie told me, “You’re going to be back playing baseball, because there’s a bigger plan for you.” I couldn’t even look her in the eye. I said something like, “Yeah, yeah, quit talking to me.”

She looks pretty smart, doesn’t she? I have a mission now. My mission is to be the ray of hope, the guy who stands out there on that beautiful field and owns up to his mistakes and lets people know it’s never completely hopeless, no matter how bad it seems at the time. I have a platform and a message, and now I go to bed at night, sober and happy, praying I can be a good messenger.

Addiction is a humbling experience. Getting it under control is even more humbling. I got better for one reason: I surrendered. Instead of asking to be bailed out, instead of making deals with God by saying, “If you get me out of this mess, I’ll stop doing what I’m doing,” I asked for help. I wouldn’t do that before. I’d been the Devil Rays’ No. 1 pick in the 1999 draft, supposedly a five-tool prospect. I was a big, strong man, and I was supposed to be able to handle my problems myself. That didn’t work out so well.

Every day I’m reminded that my story is bigger than me. It never fails. Every time I go to the ballpark, I talk to people who are either battling addictions themselves or trying to help someone else who is. Who talks to me? Just about everybody. I walked to the plate to lead off an inning in early May, minding my own business, when the catcher jogged out to the mound to talk to his pitcher. As I was digging in, the home plate umpire (I’m intentionally not naming him) took off his mask and walked around the plate to brush it off. He looked up at me and said, “Josh, I’m really pulling for you.

I’ve fought some battles myself, and I just want you to know I’m rooting for you.”

A father will tell me about his son while I’m signing autographs. A mother will wait outside the players’ parking lot to tell me about her daughter. They know where I’ve been. They look to me because I’m proof that hope is never lost.

They remind me that this isn’t really about baseball. It’s amazing that God allowed me to keep my baseball talents after I sat out three years and played only 15 games last season in A-ball. On May 6, I hit two homers against the Rockies at home, and I felt like I did in high school. I felt like I could do anything on the field.

I’ve been called the biggest surprise in baseball this year, and I can’t argue with that. If you think about it, how many people have gone from being a crack addict to succeeding at anything, especially something as demanding as major league baseball?

If I hadn’t been picked up by the Reds after the Rule 5 draft, which opened up a major league roster spot for me, I’d probably still be in A-ball. Instead, I’m hanging around .270 with 13 homers through 60 games with Cincinnati; not bad for a 26-year-old major league rookie. But the way I look at it, I couldn’t fail. I’ve been given this platform to talk about the hell I’ve been through, so it’s almost like I need to do well, like I don’t have a choice.

This may sound crazy, but I wouldn’t change a thing about my path to the big leagues. I wouldn’t even change the 26 tattoos that cover so much of my body, even though they’re the most obvious signs of my life temporarily leaving the tracks. You’re probably thinking, Bad decisions and addiction almost cost him his life, and he wouldn’t change anything? But if I hadn’t gone through all the hard times, this whole story would be just about baseball. If I’d made the big leagues at 21 and made my first All-Star team at 23 and done all the things expected of me, I would be a big-time baseball player, and that’s it.

Baseball is third in my life right now, behind my relationship with God and my family. Without the first two, baseball isn’t even in the picture. Believe me, I know.

I’LL NEVER forget Opening Day in Cincinnati. When they called my name during introductions and a sellout crowd stood and cheered, I looked into the stands and saw Katie and our two kids—Sierra, who’s nearly 2, and my 6-year-old stepdaughter, Julia—and my parents and Katie’s parents. I had to swallow hard to keep from breaking down right there. They were all crying, but I had to at least try to keep it together.

I pinch-hit in the eighth inning of that game against the Cubs, and Lou Piniella decided to make a pitching change before I got to the plate. The crowd stood and cheered me for what seemed like forever. It was the best sound I’ve ever heard. When I got into the box, Cubs catcher Michael Barrett looked up at me from his crouch and said, “You deserve it, Josh. Take it all in, brother. I’m happy for you.” I lined out to left, but the following week I got my first start and my first hit—a home run.

Whether I hit two bombs or strike out three times, like I did in a game against the Pirates, I never forget that I’m living with addiction. It’s just part of my life. Johnny Narron, my manager’s brother, is a big part of my recovery. He’s the Reds’ video coordinator, and he once coached me in fall baseball when I was 15. He looks after me on the road. When they pass out meal money before a trip—always in cash—they give mine to Johnny, and he parcels it out to me when I need it. I see no shame in that; it’s just one of the realities of my situation. I don’t need to be walking around with $400 in my pocket.

I know I’m different, and my teammates have been very accepting. Being a rookie in the big leagues, there are certain rituals involved, and one of them is carrying beer onto the plane. My teammates gave me that job on one of the first road trips, and I didn’t do it. I didn’t think it would be a good idea for me to be seen carrying beer onto a plane. They respected my decision.

I get a lot of abuse in visiting cities, but it only bothers me when people are vulgar around kids. The rest I can handle. Some of it is even funny. In St. Louis, I was standing in rightfield when a fan yelled, “My name is Josh Hamilton, and I’m a drug addict!” I turned around and looked at him with my palms raised to the sky. “Tell me something I don’t know, dude,” I said. The whole section started laughing and cheering, and the heckler turned to them and said, “Did you hear that? He’s my new favorite player.” They cheered me from that point on.

I live by a simple philosophy: Nobody can insult me as much as I’ve insulted myself. I’ve learned that I have to keep doing the right things and not worry about what people think. Fortunately, I have a strong support group with Katie, my family and Johnny. If I ever get in a bad situation, I know I would have to get out of it and give Johnny a call. The key is not getting myself into those situations, but we’ve talked about having a plan for removing myself just in case. It’s all part of understanding the reality of the addiction.

In spring training, when I hit over .400 and made the team, there was a lot of interest in my story. I decided to be open about what happened to me; early on, I was doing long interviews before my first game in every city. It’s been amazing how people have responded, and I think being honest helped. I can’t avoid my past, so I don’t try. It’s not always easy, though. I got sick in late May and ended up on the disabled list after going to the hospital with a stomach problem, and I knew I’d have to answer questions about whether I was using again. I can’t control what people think, but the years of drug abuse tore up my immune system pretty good. I get tested three times a week, and if it comes back positive, I know I’m done with baseball for life.

Aside from our struggles as a team, this season has been a dream for me. And that’s fitting, because in a way I had to learn how to dream all over again. When I was using, I never dreamed. I’d sleep the dead, dreamless sleep of a stalled brain. When I stopped using, I found my dreams

returned. They weren’t always good dreams; most of the ones I remember were haunting and dark. They stayed with me long after I woke up.

Within my first week of sobriety in October 2005—after I showed up at my grandmother’s house in Raleigh in the middle of the night, coming off a crack binge—I had the most haunting dream. I was fighting the devil, an awful-looking thing. I had a stick or a bat or something, and every time I hit the devil, he’d fall and get back up. Over and over I hit him, until I was exhausted and he was still standing.

I woke up in a sweat, as if I’d been truly fighting, and the terror that gripped me makes that dream feel real to this day. I’d been alone for so long, alone with the fears and emotions I worked so hard to kill. I’m not embarrassed to admit that after I woke up that night, I walked down the hall to my grandmother’s room and crawled under the covers with her. The devil stayed out of my dreams for seven months after that. I stayed clean and worked hard and tried to put my marriage and my life back together. I got word in June 2006 that I’d been reinstated by Major League Baseball, and a few weeks afterward, the devil reappeared.

It was the same dream, with an important difference. I would hit him and he would bounce back up, the ugliest and most hideous creature you could imagine. This devil seemed unbeatable; I couldn’t knock him out. But just when I felt like giving up, I felt a presence by my side. I turned my head and saw Jesus, battling alongside me. We kept fighting, and I was filled with strength. The devil didn’t stand a chance.

You can doubt me, but I swear to you I dreamed it. When I woke up, I felt at peace. I wasn’t scared. To me, the lesson was obvious: Alone, I couldn’t win this battle. With Jesus, I couldn’t lose.

I GET cravings sometimes, and I see it as the devil trying to catch me in a weak moment. The best thing I can do is get the thought out of my mind as soon as I can, so it doesn’t turn into an obsession. When it happens, I talk to him. I talk to the devil and say, “These are just thoughts, and I’m not going to act on them.” When I talk like that, when I tell him he’s not going to get the best of me, I find the thought goes away sooner.

Believe it or not, talking to the devil is no harder to explain than many other experiences I’ve had since that day last December when my life changed. I was working for my brother’s tree service in Raleigh, sending limbs through a chipper, when I found out I’d been selected by the Cubs and traded to the Reds in the Rule 5 draft.

But there is one story that sticks with me, so much so that I think of it every day. I was driving out of the players’ parking lot at Great American Ball Park after a game in May, with Katie and our two girls. There’s always a group of fans standing at the curb, hoping to get autographs, and I stop to sign as many as I can.

And on this particular night, a little boy of about 9 or 10, wearing a Reds cap, handed me a pen and something to sign. Nothing unusual there, but as I was writing the boy said, “Josh, you’re my savior.” This stopped me. I looked at him and said, “Well, thank you. Do you know who my savior is?” He thought for a minute. I could see the gears turning. Finally, he smiled and blurted out, “Jesus Christ.” He said it like he’d just come up with the answer to a test. “That’s exactly right,” I said. You see, I may not know how I got here from there, but every day I get a better understanding of why.

Source: http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3622003
Suggested Reading: The Things We Forget, Part 5: Josh Hamilton

Related posts:

1. A False Sense of Hope
2. Faith, Hope, and Desire

Photo by Bahadir Bermek

Mashup-Germany – Who Knew Someone Like You…
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I ran across the poem The Benjamin Franklin of Monogamy written by Jeffrey McDaniel back in July of 2005 and wanted it share it with all of you. Jeffrey McDaniel is quite the published author under Manic D Press. Many of his poems have appeared in highly regarded publications such as The Best American Poetry 1994, An Anthology of new (American) Poets, The new Young American Poets, and American Poetry: The Next Generation. I’m not too big on poetry, but when I read this piece I felt like many people could relate to it. Enjoy!

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Photo by: Emmanuel Rosario

Play Me:

As always, I’m here to write because I’ve been thinking a lot lately. This time around it’s not because I’m stressed out or feeling negative. It’s because I’m inspired, motivated, and ready for a change. A change for the better. I used to see the negative out of a lot of things rather than the positive and those thoughts were poison seeping into my mind. Those no longer exist. For example, my brother and I purchased a tape converter for the car, since we don’t have a CD player, so we could play music off our iPhones/iPods. We’ve had it for well over a year now and something started to go wrong with the chord and we can’t hear music come out of our speakers that well. Rather than saying “oh, what a piece of crap this thing sucks” why not look at it and say “wow, this thing was really worth the $20 we paid for it! It’s allowed us to play countless hours of our music that we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to!” Back to the point.

In this day and age it’s very easy to get down on yourself and feel…hopeless. To feel like the world is against you and that nobody cares when in fact, they really do. It’s hard to really see beyond a person, their intentions, and who they really are. Fortunately, I’d like to give myself the credit for knowing I can easily tell a person’s character after shortly meeting with them and and get a feel for who they really are from the motives behind their drive.

What I’m getting at is that my brother and I have seen much success (not as much as we’d like, but we’re taking baby steps) with our website Drop Beats Not Bombs. Both of us have also seen a lot of success in our careers and from the perspective of growing as an individuals this past year. We’ve been through a lot, trust me. What I’ve realized through the development of my career, ambitions, and experiences is there are genuinely good-hearted individuals out in the world. People who want to help you reach your goals, keep you motivated, and truly see your vision. Though sometimes it may be hard to believe this and look beyond all the bullshit that may have previously occurred, you need find the needle(s) in the haystack. And when you do, it’s well worth it. The friendships and relationships you develop by networking are priceless.

So, when in doubt please know there’s always hope. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep pushing harder and harder to accomplish what you set out to accomplish and become who you desire to become.

Related posts:

1. A False Sense of Hope
2. Unfaltering Faith and Other Things…
3. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!

In my opinion, though in a time of sorrow and mourning, the eulogy Ted Kennedy gave for his brother Robert Kennedy’s memorial on June 8, 1968 at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, New York is an all time great. Personally, I’d dub it the greatest speech of all time, but I haven’t listened to nor have I read many speeches to compare it with. I’ve been meaning to share this for a while now and it just so happened that I was going through some of my old audio files back from 2006 and came across a snippet of the speech that I could listen to over and over again. For some reason I draw quite the inspiration from this speech and maybe you will as well.

Your Eminences, Your Excellencies, Mr. President:

On behalf of Mrs. Kennedy, her children, the parents and sisters of Robert Kennedy, I want to express what we feel to those who mourn with us today in this Cathedral and around the world.

We loved him as a brother, and as a father, and as a son. From his parents, and from his older brothers and sisters — Joe and Kathleen and Jack — he received an inspiration which he passed on to all of us. He gave us strength in time of trouble, wisdom in time of uncertainty, and sharing in time of happiness. He will always be by our side.

Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is loyalty, or trust, or joy. But he was all of these. He loved life completely and he lived it intensely.

A few years back, Robert Kennedy wrote some words about his own father which expresses [sic] the way we in his family felt about him. He said of what his father meant to him, and I quote: “What it really all adds up to is love — not love as it is described with such facility in popular magazines, but the kind of love that is affection and respect, order and encouragement, and support. Our awareness of this was an incalculable source of strength, and because real love is something unselfish and involves sacrifice and giving, we could not help but profit from it.” And he continued, “Beneath it all, he has tried to engender a social conscience. There were wrongs which needed attention. There were people who were poor and needed help. And we have a responsibility to them and to this country. Through no virtues and accomplishments of our own, we have been fortunate enough to be born in the United States under the most comfortable conditions. We, therefore, have a responsibility to others who are less well off.”

That is what Robert Kennedy was given. What he leaves to us is what he said, what he did, and what he stood for. A speech he made to the young people of South Africa on their Day of Affirmation in 1966 sums it up the best, and I would like to read it now:

“There is discrimination in this world and slavery and slaughter and starvation. Governments repress their people; millions are trapped in poverty while the nation grows rich and wealth is lavished on armaments everywhere. These are differing evils, but they are the common works of man. They reflect the imperfection of human justice, the inadequacy of human compassion, our lack of sensibility towards the suffering of our fellows. But we can perhaps remember — even if only for a time — that those who live with us are our brothers; that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek — as we do — nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men. And surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again. The answer is to rely on youth — not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease. The cruelties and obstacles of this swiftly changing planet will not yield to the obsolete dogmas and outworn slogans. They cannot be moved by those who cling to a present that is already dying, who prefer the illusion of security to the excitement and danger that come with even the most peaceful progress.

It is a revolutionary world we live in, and this generation at home and around the world has had thrust upon it a greater burden of responsibility than any generation that has ever lived. Some believe there is nothing one man or one woman can do against the enormous array of the world’s ills. Yet many of the world’s great movements, of thought and action, have flowed from the work of a single man. A young monk began the Protestant reformation; a young general extended an empire from Macedonia to the borders of the earth; a young woman reclaimed the territory of France; and it was a young Italian explorer who discovered the New World, and the 32 year-old Thomas Jefferson who [pro]claimed that “all men are created equal.”

These men moved the world, and so can we all. Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation. *It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped.* Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

Few are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change. And I believe that in this generation those with the courage to enter the moral conflict will find themselves with companions in every corner of the globe.

For the fortunate among us, there is the temptation to follow the easy and familiar paths of personal ambition and financial success so grandly spread before those who enjoy the privilege of education. But that is not the road history has marked out for us. Like it or not, we live in times of danger and uncertainty. But they are also more open to the creative energy of men than any other time in history. All of us will ultimately be judged, and as the years pass we will surely judge ourselves on the effort we have contributed to building a new world society and the extent to which our ideals and goals have shaped that event.

*The future does not belong to those who are content with today, apathetic toward common problems and their fellow man alike, timid and fearful in the face of new ideas and bold projects. Rather it will belong to those who can blend vision, reason and courage in a personal commitment to the ideals and great enterprises of American Society.* Our future may lie beyond our vision, but it is not completely beyond our control. It is the shaping impulse of America that neither fate nor nature nor the irresistible tides of history, but the work of our own hands, matched to reason and principle, that will determine our destiny. There is pride in that, even arrogance, but there is also experience and truth. In any event, it is the only way we can live.”

That is the way he lived. That is what he leaves us.

My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it.

Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world.

As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him:

Full Version:

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Original Article: : Humbled MBA (Source)

I ran across this article a while back and wanted to share it with all of you! The advice in this article given by Jason Freedman is great for those who are entrepreneurs and even those of you who aren’t! Enjoy!

When we were raising money for FlightCaster in Fall 2009, we met with dozens of investors, both VCs and Angels. Most of them turned us down. The investors that did put money into FlightCaster provided us a ton of value, both in terms of their capital and all the support/guidance/networking.

And what about all those investors that had turned us down? They actually ended up providing a lot of value as well, and that’s what this post is about. I had noticed a funny trend from each one that had turned us down. They all closed with a variant of this statement:

At first, it sounded like a standard pleasantry, in the same vein of “I wish you the best of luck.” But then, I started thinking about why it was that every investor was saying it. I realized that there are two forces at work here:

The first is that many investors are genuinely nice guys that do root for entrepreneurs. Many made it as entrepreneurs and remember the pain and the hustle. If (and this is an important if) an action is not at odds with their fiduciary duty to their limited partners, most investors will do what they can to support you.

The second force at work is pure incentives. Investors know that relationships matter. An investor that passed on a company may want back in at a later point if that company takes off. Or she may want to fund a future company of that entrepreneur. Doing favors without an investment is a cash-free way to prove to the entrepreneur that they have real value to provide in addition to their capital.

So, back to our story. I decided to take them up on their offer. All of them. I literally contacted every investor that turned us down and asked for a concrete favor.

We had just launched the FlightCaster product and were working hard to meet people in the industry. My co-founder Evan Konwiser was not yet recognized as the thought leader of the travel industry that he is today. We had a big conference coming up where every leader of the travel industry would be in attendance. And we knew no one.
With a few hours on LinkedIn, I was able to see which investors knew someone that knew someone we wanted to meet. I sent a personalized version of this email to all those investors that offered to help:

Thanks for offering to further support us as we build FlightCaster.

Right now, we’re preparing for the PhoCusRight conference next week, the travel industry’s largest get together. We’re trying to make some connections with people at the conference. Can you help us connect with leaders in the Business Travel divisions of Expedia or Orbitz? Or any other introduction that you feel would help us?

Thanks for the help!

Jason

And you know what happened? A huge number of those investors responded within 48 hours, and most of them were able to help in some way. And it was the most impressive investors that responded the quickest. Here’s the response I received from Ron Conway the next day (using his classic all caps):

I KNOW THE CEO OF EXPEDIA…send us an email template to send to him

Ron

So, yes, we got introduced to the CEO of Expedia because Ron Conway, who had previously passed on investing in us, was willing to help. Booyah!! Why did he do it? Because Ron Conway is also one of those guys that is fundamentally rooting for the entrepreneur.

The other reason he did it? Because we asked. You don’t get shit you don’t ask for.

A few tips on asking for help:

Ask for what you want
This is a common Paul Graham statement to YC companies. Figure out exactly what you need and just ask for it. Don’t play games, don’t posture, don’t hint. Just ask for what you want.

Make your request very concrete
We didn’t ask for general advice. We did our homework and made very specific requests. It’s much easier for people to respond to concrete requests. Even if they can’t provide for that direct request, the specificity of the request helps them find an alternative way to help.

Don’t use and abuse
I only wanted to ask these incredibly busy investors for help once or maybe twice. Obtaining industry introductions was one of the most important necessities of our startup. I made sure to ask for something that they could provide with minimal effort and risk.

Pay it forward
We’re all part of the same innovation community. This whole entrepreneurship thing is hard for everyone, but fortunately, everyone has something to offer. Don’t procrastinate on giving back.

Say thank you
Investors love knowing the outcome. For both personal and professional reasons, they’re interested in long term relationships. Do your part by keeping them up to date with your successes. I like to email everyone that helped me immediately prior to something showing up on Techcrunch. It helps me communicate to them that I appreciate everything they did to be a part of our success.

Give it a shot. The worst that can happen is that they say no. And even that’s not so bad–investors love knowing that you hustle. So hustle.

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Photo by 500px user Olga Skrund

Time goes by fast. Real fast. It has been just about a year since moving out to Huntington Beach, California and boy have I learned a lot–personally and professionally. Overcoming adversity has been something I’ve been used to growing up. Challenges motivate me and push me to go the extra mile…when I set my mind to it. Failures disappoint me, but I’ve learned to pick myself back up. I absolutely hate failing and will not accept failure as an option.

When times get tough it’s easier to give up and throw in the towel. Trust me, I’ve been there multiple times this past year (2010). Sometimes it seems like you just can’t catch a break. You will. Sometimes it seems like the world is against you. It’s not. Sometimes it seems like you’re by yourself in a small dimly lit or dark room struggling to find your way out. You aren’t. Life can get pretty discouraging at times. Maybe a lot of time to make it sound more realistic! Trust me, I’ve been to the bottom of the barrel mentally and physically. My will has been tested time and time again. At times it seems like no matter how much effort you give or how hard you try nothing goes as you expected them to or planned them out to be.

I’ve felt discouraged on multiple occasions throughout the year. Just until recently, I’ve felt like no matter how hard I tried things wouldn’t get better. Negativity found it’s way and dug itself deeper into my mind. Thoughts ran through my head that used to never exist. I was constantly asking myself and to a higher being (God if he exists), why me? People closest to me may have not noticed, but I was miserable. I’m pretty good at putting up a front and acting like everything is normal. Especially to those around me. I’ve always known that friendships were priceless. In times like mentioned above friends and family are your backbone, your support.

Throughout this year, I’ve always known, but learned first hand that quality friendships and the time spent with those friends is priceless. And though it’s hard especially in these economic times, don’t grow old, look back, and regret the things you didn’t do with the people who meant the most to you. Be free and let loose every once in a while. Make the time to be around and surround yourself with the ones you care about most. I’m guilty of this one and haven’t made enough time to build upon existing relationships. To that I’m sorry.

Here are a few things I’ve learned during my first year as a struggling unemployed graduate, door-to-door salesman, and corporate puppet:

Creating balance is essential
Balance is essential to living a less stressful lifestyle. People work way too much these days. It’s not a bad thing, but sometimes we forget to make time for ourselves. It takes a lot out of you. What’s it worth going through the daily grind and letting life pass you by? I was working way too much at one point. I forgot to make time for myself because it felt like I didn’t have enough time in the day. Making the time to go out with friends or just do some personal reflection is quite refreshing. Don’t let yourself get caught up in a daily routine, that’s…well…boring!

The ‘Real World’ is all about experience
The school you graduated from and the degree you have mean absolutely nothing. It does mean something, but not everything. In this day and age with the technology that surrounds us we have access to unlimited resources of information. If you set your mind to it, apply yourself, and put forth the effort you can learn anything you want to learn. Your degree can get you into the door somewhere, but your experience is the deal breaker.

Suggested Reading: Will Paypal Billionaire Peter Thiel’s Team of College Dropouts Change Learning

At my current job I manage a book of over 80 accounts, optimize new and existing campaigns, responsible for the initial set-up of a new campaign, and the landing page copy writing. Guess what…there weren’t any classes that I took or was even offered on the subject of ‘Pay-Per-Click advertising’ and ‘search engine marketing’. Much of your success in this world (in my opinion) will be based on what you do with the hours after your normal work hours. What are you going to do to better your life? That’s why I carry the mentality and philosophy to always be learning. Apply myself at my job and when I’m at home. Eventually, this will hopefully assist me on reaching my goal and working for myself on my own terms!

Don’t let money dictate the way you live YOUR life
This one is kind of hard to follow. Trust me, I’ve been here as well. Not having money can be quite depressing because you just can’t go and do many of the things you want to do. Especially when your friends are always asking you to go out as well! Don’t get down on yourself and crawl into a cave because you don’t have any money. There are plenty of things to do that don’t require money and it’s much better than sitting at home complaining about the fact that you don’t have money! I do want to say though, make wholesome decisions and don’t be careless with the little bit of money you do have.

Look out for yourself, ’cause no one else will
No one has really screwed me over “royally” I guess you could say, but… When conversation arises and good advice is flowing I’m all ears. I’ve heard this many times from [older] successful people that I’ve had conversation with. The business world is a nasty world. The business world is where you separate the men from the boys.

Just the other day my brother and I were talking to a man by the name of Scott. He started a successful business and sold it back in 1999 for lots of money. Despite being screwed over on big deals a few times his advice was to watch out for the pricks. He said, “there are people out there who will take a carrot and stick it up your ass. They’ll act like your friend and fuck you over in the blink of an eye.” His message was clear as day and I definitely won’t forget it. He also advised us to be aggressive. We’re young, ambitious, have energy, and no obligations…to basically take the world by storm. Go after our wildest dreams and make something of them.

You must LEARN to make sacrifices
We’re all young (most of us) and love to go out and spend our money on who knows what. What I’ve learned is that making sacrifices in the business world (career and growth opportunity) and in our personal lives is essential. Think of it like this. You’re chilling with some friends drinking some beers or just shootin’ the shit. What you’re doing at that point in time is what you’re doing and nothing else. You’re obviously not going to be getting anything productive done. Tomorrow is a new day though, and what you do with your time is up to you!

In the business/corporate world you must make unwilling sacrifices that may not seem too glamorous at times, but will pay off if you stick with it. It’s crazy when you look at the breadcrumbs of the many coincidences that occur in life. Here’s my past year in a nutshell. Work door to door sales commission only for 5 months, apply for inside sales position at Internet Brands but get interviewed for the marketing support analyst position and get the job, work at Internet Brands for 6 months, apply to Deluxe Corporation and because of my experience in the non-corporate world as well as at Internet Brands get a job offer. As the year progressed things gradually got better. It didn’t seem like they would at times, but they did. It may seem like hell right now…your hard work and perseverance will pay off. Trust me, it will. I lost faith in myself many times and when you do that it makes things so much harder. Don’t lose faith in yourself and believe in your capabilities! Each job was a stepping stone and without each job preceding the other I wouldn’t be where I a today.

Making more time in the day isn’t impossible
Do you find yourself occasionally saying “there’s not enough time in the day“! Referring back to the creating balance is essential topic, it never seems like you have enough time in the day. There’s always so much to do and just not enough time. I’ve figured out the secret to making more time in the day. Some say it’s impossible, but it’s not. You can literally slow down time… just kidding! Sorry, I had to. Anyways, the only way to gain more time in your day to accomplish more is by going to bed later and waking up earlier. Don’t push yourself to exhaustion doing this. Get your rest, but put the hours you’re awake towards being productive and getting the things done you want to get done. You need to get done. This way, you will have extra time for yourself to do what you want, when you want, and with who you want.

This post is getting a little lengthy. I know there’s more advice that has crossed my mind. When I remember those topics I’ll make another post. For now, this will suffice. Hope you enjoyed this read and feel free to share your thoughts if you so please.

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For a recent survey, IBM asked 6,000 top CEOs, CIOs, and CFOs about what companies are doing to make their business succeed. Their answers were not about doing “business as usual,” but finding creative solutions for a fiercely competitive, rapidly moving marketplace. In a world where technology and global demands seem to change every day, here’s a snapshot of what the view is like from the corner office.

A collaboration between GOOD and Oliver Munday.

Source: Good.is

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Photo by 500px user Bogdan Nicolae

There’s been a part of my sub-conscious lately that, for some odd reason, keeps letting doubt creep into my mind! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Let me repeat that just one more time. I hate it! Now that that’s out we’ll move on. Many of you have probably read some of my previous posts so I’m sure you’ve been able to make your own assessment of what kind of person I am (hopefully it’s good). For that reason I’ll save both you and I some time and won’t get into the whole spiel about how I’m this and that and how you should take my word for it. Moving on…

Getting back to the point and the direction I want to go with this post. Our society often creates a false sense of hope in the minds of unsuspecting victims. Unfortunately, myself included. Creating ideas through elaborate marketing and advertising schemes or even by ways or the means of friends and family. What I mean by this is that we all have high hopes, dreams, and expectations for our future. For example, there’s not one person who can’t say they haven’t watched some show (think Entourage) and while watching that show said to themselves, “I want to live that lifestyle” or “Someday I’ll drive an Aston Martin” or “I want girls and to party like rock star.” How about flipping through a magazine and you see something, we’ll say for this example, a Harry Winston diamond ring that God forbid one day you will own. Maybe you drove past a house (a mansion for better sake of a term) and said to yourself, “Daaanngg that’s what I want my house to look like!” YES! One day it will all be ours…just wait…one day…

It’s sad these materialistic objects become the focus of our lives. That we take the most simplest of things for granted–like going for a walk outside or spending time with loved ones. You can travel to a third world country and in some areas find human beings, yes you read correctly, HUMAN BEINGS who are genuinely happy with their day to day lives with the simplest of things. They don’t have the material objects we want and desire, but don’t necessarily need. They don’t know what a cell-phone or iPod is or even what they look like for that matter. These are technologies that we submerse ourselves in everyday and something that they’ll never probably get to experience. It’s great that we have big dreams, goals, and future with all the fancy, hip, and cool stuff. But it’s also pathetic that we don’t take the time to sit back and realize that we’re truly lucky to be where we’re at today, regardless of the situations we’re currently struggling to get through as individuals and as a society.

I think and dream big. I hope you do to. Because there’s nothing wrong with that. However, as I mentioned before there’s been some doubt that has managed to find it’s way into my mind. We’re not bad people to want and desire all the material things portrayed in the media every single day. Are we? It’s good to want that stuff because it means you want more out of your life. That you aren’t going to settle for average. Simply put…it’s motivational. For me, the doubt that I have allowed to creep into my mind has slapped me across the face. Not once, but twice. As much as I am entrepreneurial, business minded, and goal oriented I’ve been pulled back down to reality. “Realistically where am I going to be in 10 years?,” is the kind of thought that is going through my head. Versus the optimistic view of what was previously going through my head, “I’m going to start a business, get rich, and in 2 years have everything I ever wanted!” Yeah…right…unless I’m real lucky. The odds of that being one in a million. I’ve realized that it’s going to take time, effort, and dedication to get where I want to be. It’s just hard for me to accept that in the end I may fail despite my efforts or whether or not I put more blood, sweat, and tears into whatever it is I end up doing than someone else who may have got lucky or put forth less time and effort.

The realization that I’ve come to is that sometimes we get get trapped into a sense of belief or hope that we can’t escape or are too stubborn to admit otherwise. The belief that I will own a multi-million dollar company one day and drive my Lamborghini to work. I intend on making that a reality… it’s great and all, but realistically and statistically the odds are against us. Stubbornness can hurt you and learning to let go and move on (knowing when to quit) is one characteristic one must acquire. Sometimes you ARE the stronger person for letting go than trying to hold on. Here’s the definition of insanity by Albert Einstein, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I know he intended the interpretation of that quote another way, but you can’t keep doing something that you know deep down inside isn’t going to change. We’ve all been stuck in that position before. Don’t create a false sense of hope or even a false sense of reality and tell yourself it’s going to work! On the flip side, we wouldn’t be where we are today without the efforts of great minds and individuals before us who just wouldn’t give up. Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times when trying to create the light bulb. There are unique and amazing stories like that and don’t get me wrong you could be one of them. I could be one of them. Actually, let’s be one of them.

As you can tell I see both sides. Never give up because if you’re doing something you believe in you should give it your all and put your effort into it. But then again if something isn’t working why keep wasting time, which is priceless, and keep trying? We only get one life (yes I know I’m pointing out the obvious) and I guess that’s up to you what you want to spend your time doing with it. Life is tough and making decisions is tough. A lot of the time we get thrown rocks when we were expecting marbles. It’s what you do with those rocks to polish them down and create your marbles.

I don’t even know if this whole thing made any sense. It’s just what’s been going through my mind lately and I wanted to get it out and write about it. It didn’t really come out the way I expected it to, but maybe I can come back at a later time and edit this bad boy. To me, sometimes we lose our own perception of reality because we get lost in a false sense of hope and create ideas and thoughts (think Inception) that aren’t real. Or that we get stuck doing something because others have created an environment that makes you feel guilty if you give up.

Disclosure: I began working on this post back in November 2010. I let some of my posts sit in the queue…It’s refreshing to come back with a clear mind and re-edit posts I was having a hard time completing. Think of it as wine…aging in the queue whilst getting better as time progresses.

Related posts:

1. What is the Key to Staying Motivated?
2. Become a Quitter at Quitting
3. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!

Above & Beyond & Gareth Emery Pres. OceanLab – On A Good Day (Acoustic Mix)

Happiness is a formula. Something we are, in our subconscious, always trying to solve. For some of us the solution to the formula seems impossible. Though, some lucky and fortunate individuals are able to find the solution. Happiness is the abundance of objects that surround us in our everyday lives. The belief we have in ourselves, in others, and for some, God. Just like love, happiness isn’t discovered by or present in everyone. Some people are left in the dark never knowing what happiness actually feels like or the true meaning behind it. Others set out on a journey to seek happiness hoping to find that something or someone to fulfill their lives from the inside and out. While some believe happiness is a switch that can turned on and off. I consider happiness as one of the three intangible “wonders”. The other two being love and freedom. What is happiness? Is it a state of mind you decide upon? or is it something that you truly experience? I think it’s a mixture of both. I give you permission to slap me silly if that sounds absurd.

I find myself constantly questioning what happiness is just about everyday. Why? Because I know I’m not completely happy. Not happy with who I am individually as a person, where I am financially, and with life in general. Wow that sounded quite depressing. I know that as an individual I can improve many different aspects of my life. I just want more out of life and don’t understand how people sometimes settle for nothing more than average. I may think my life is on a downward spiral with all of the unlucky and unfortunate events that have occurred thus far in 2010. I realize however, that I have it better off than a lot of people around the world. I realize that there are many things that I take for granted, which many people could only dream of having.

EDIT 3/24/2011: Sorry everyone, at the time of first writing this I was kind of a downer. Amidst of forgetting about this post in my queue and sporadically editing this bad boy on and off since July 2010 it has taken me a while to get it to flow how I want it to flow. Yeaaahh I know, I’m lame. The year 2011 has been great and I’ve been enjoying every minute!

Happiness to me is like trying to find the perfect relationship, but not being able to. Trying to make something happen that just wasn’t supposed to be. We’ve all be in that situation. Where we want something to work out so badly that we would do anything in our power to get the outcome we desire. What I’ve realized is that things never really work out when we approach them with that kind of mentality or mindset. Instead of trying to make a perfect relationship happen with someone, let that someone walk into your life unexpectedly and let a perfect relationship develop. Instead of trying to find happiness, do the things that truly make you happy and surround yourself with people who are able to instill happiness into your life. Whether it be through their positive energy or their friendly presence. Essentially, what I’m trying to say is not to go looking for happiness because you won’t find it. Let it come into your life unexpectedly. We can’t let the burdens or outcomes in our lives affect our attitude. By doing so, we dwell on the past instead of appreciating what we have right in front of us. We have to learn to let go of the past, embrace the present, and prepare ourselves for the future.

I always ask myself whether or not the saying that you can’t love others until you love yourself is true. To some extent I agree with that statement. How can you love someone else if you don’t even know what it feels like to love or appreciate your own self? I do believe that you can love others even if you are struggling to understand yourself. That you can help others even if you’re struggling to find help or guidance in your own life. For the most part I try to think of it as, what goes around comes around. If I’m able to help others in some small way hopefully someone will be there when I need support or to be lifted up.

Lately, I’ve realized that whether or not I’m happy that I love to help others and see smiles on other people’s faces even if I’m not “floating on air” or “high on life” so-to-speak. I guess you could say that I wear a mask sometimes, not good…I know. However, you can be happy without all the material objects that our society ingrains into our heads that we, for some reason, need in order to be accepted by others. Take a look at children in 3rd world countries. You can find happy kids running around even though they don’t have access to the sophisticated technology, 5 course meals, or designer clothing we get submersed into everyday. There’s people living on less than a dollar a day! If they can find happiness, then we surely can. If they can experience happiness, so can we.

It’s crazy how many people, including myself, believe or used to believe that money will lead to happiness. WRONG. Money buys freedom and with that freedom we’re able to do the things with the people that make us happy. Just because I’m able to afford a $100,000 dollar car and sit in it doesn’t mean I’m happy (don’t misinterpret this–I don’t own a 100k car). Just because I can afford the most expensive designer clothing and put it on my body doesn’t mean I’ll be happy (I don’t own expensive designer clothing, either). These material objects only support our short-term gratification and the mindset that “hey I can afford this stuff and that person can’t so I’m better than them”. The “I’m better than you” mentality, when in fact, you’re probably not. What I want to come to is that, to me, the true meaning of happiness is understanding yourself, the amount of effort, and commitment it will require to reach wherever I want to go in life. Money doesn’t buy happiness, it only makes life a little more simpler.

So keep this in mind when you’re thinking about happiness…We make fun of a lot of the celebrities, politicians, athletes, and other people always in the spotlight of the media. We make fun of them for wanting to save the dolphins, adopting children, donating money to certain charities. Guess what? These people make SO much freakin’ money that they’ve figured out what truly makes them happy. They’re doing and supporting the things that they want to do, not what others expect of them. In a sense when we make fun of these people we’re really making fun of ourselves because we haven’t reached that point in our lives where we don’t have to worry about any financial obligations. We haven’t reached that point in our lives where we can sit down to reflect and figure out what we truly care about and have a passion for.

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Photo by DeviantArt user PardonMyFate

This post is a few weeks overdue (now long overdue–I wrote this mid January and forgot to publish it). I wanted to take the time to thank everyone who has purposely or unintentionally come to my website this past year in 2010. This past year has been a roller coaster and this is one of the places I come to let the steam out. I used to hate writing posts because it felt like a job, “Ohh man I need to update my blog, what the hell am I going to write about?” always went through my head. I always thought of myself as a horrible writer as well and I would force myself to write. Another reason why I used to never like writing on here was that I thought my diction and syntax sucked! It still does… Sometimes I guess I don’t give myself enough credit and usually have the thought that I could have written my posts better.

Anyway, writing here puts me at ease and as corny as it sounds, at peace. It seems like my head gets cluttered with too many thoughts and emotions that I store inside and never let out. It’s overwhelming when I try to keep it locked inside rather than share it with others. I’ve come to realize that many people probably feel the same way I do about things but aren’t comfortable sharing it to the public or may just not have someone to express themselves to. Whatever it is that’s going through your head and want to scream out loud…To that I say you’re not alone. I used to be uncomfortable and embarrassed to let my friends know I had a blog. Now I feel fine sharing my posts on my Facebook page for the whole world to see! Regardless, it has been a rewarding experience. I know that people are coming here and actually reading my articles thanks to the emails and comments I receive. So again, for you silent readers out there, or ninjas for a better word…thanks for taking the time to listen and hear my voice.

I never thought that my blog would reach this…milestone? This past year in 2010 my blog received a total of 25,004 unique visitors. Those visitors generated a total of 51,758 pageviews (1.94 pageviews per visit). Unfortunately, the average time spent on my site was only a mere 42 seconds. BUT, looking at the last two months, November and December, of 2010 I had a total of 3,242 unique visitors that generated a total of 10,240 pageviews (an average of 2+ pageviews per visit). That’s pretty good! The average time spent on my blog for the last two months was 1 minute and 7 seconds. Quality over quantity. What seizes to amaze me though, is my bounce rate. For those of you who don’t know what Bounce Rate means–it “is a term used in web site traffic analysis. It essentially represents the percentage of initial visitors to a site who “bounce” away to a different site, rather than continue on to other pages within the same site.” The bounce rate for my blog is only 3.59%, which means that 96.41% of people who visit my blog stay here upon the initial page they landed on! I could get into more in depth analysis, but it would probably bore you to death.

As I mentioned before, I know many of you come here and don’t leave comments. That’s fine! I just wanted to let all of you know that I appreciate you taking the time to read my posts. Contacting me directly through my contact form is always welcome. What motivates me most is the fact that I know I’m providing support, inspiration, motivation, and empowering complete strangers around the world!! It’s most rewarding when I wake up in the morning and check my inbox to see an email from someone who reached my site thanking me or telling me to keep up the good work. In some small way I’m able to make a difference and that’s all that really matters.

With that said, I look forward to a fantastic 2011. Follow your hearts, always dream big, and accomplish your goals. In regards to life in general, here’s a quote from Transformers “Fifty years from now, when you’re looking back at your life, don’t you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?” Take a second to think about it. Just think about it. Live life with no regrets

30 Seconds to Mars – Closer to the Edge

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