To let you know how far I’ve come, let me tell you where I’ve been.

Not that long ago, there were nights I went to sleep in strange places praying I wouldn’t wake up. After another night of bad decisions, I’d lie down with my heart speeding inside my chest like it was about to burst through the skin. My thinking was clouded, and my talent was one day closer to being totally wasted.

I prayed to be spared another day of guilt and depression and addiction. I couldn’t continue living the life of a crack addict, and I couldn’t stop, either. It was a horrible downward spiral that I had to pull out of, or die. I lay there—in a hot and dirty trailer in the North Carolina countryside, in a stranger’s house, in the cab of my pickup—and prayed the Lord would take me away from the nightmare my life had become.

When I think of those terrible times, there’s one memory that stands out. I was walking down the double-yellow of a two-lane country highway outside Raleigh when I woke up out of a trance.

I was so out of it I had lost consciousness, but my body had kept going, down the middle of the road, cars whizzing by on either side. I had run out of gas on my way to a drug dealer’s house, and from there I left the truck and started walking. I had taken Klonopin, a prescription antianxiety drug, along with whatever else I was using at the time, and the combination had put me over the edge. It’s the perfect example of what I was: a dead man walking.

And now, as I stand on the green grass of a major league outfield or walk to the batter’s box with people cheering for me, I repeatedly ask myself one simple question: How did I get here from there? I’ve been in the big leagues as a member of the Cincinnati Reds for half a season, but I still find myself taking off my cap between pitches and taking a good look around. The uniform, the ballparks, the fans—it doesn’t seem real. How am I here? It makes no sense to anybody, and I feel almost guilty when I have to tell people, over and over, that I can’t answer that one simple question.

I go to sleep every night with a clear mind and a clear conscience. Every day, I walk into an immaculate clubhouse with 10 TVs and all the food I can eat, a far cry from the rat-infested hellholes of my user past. I walk to my locker and change into a perfectly clean and pressed uniform that someone else hung up for me. I grab a bat and a glove and walk onto a beautifully manicured field to play a game for a living.

How am I here? I can only shrug and say, “It’s a God thing.” It’s the only possible explanation.

There’s a reason my prayers weren’t answered during those dark, messed-up nights I spent scared out of my mind. There’s a reason I have this blessed and unexpected opportunity to play baseball and tell people my story.

My wife, Katie, told me this day would come. At my lowest point, about three years ago, when I was wasting away to skin and bones and listening to nobody, she told me I’d be back playing baseball someday. She had no reason to believe in me. During that time, I did nothing to build my body and everything to destroy it. I’d go five or six months without picking up a ball or swinging a bat. By then, I’d been in rehab five or six times—on my way to eight—and failed to get clean. I was a bad husband and a bad father, and I had no relationship with God. Baseball wasn’t even on my mind.

And still Katie told me, “You’re going to be back playing baseball, because there’s a bigger plan for you.” I couldn’t even look her in the eye. I said something like, “Yeah, yeah, quit talking to me.”

She looks pretty smart, doesn’t she? I have a mission now. My mission is to be the ray of hope, the guy who stands out there on that beautiful field and owns up to his mistakes and lets people know it’s never completely hopeless, no matter how bad it seems at the time. I have a platform and a message, and now I go to bed at night, sober and happy, praying I can be a good messenger.

Addiction is a humbling experience. Getting it under control is even more humbling. I got better for one reason: I surrendered. Instead of asking to be bailed out, instead of making deals with God by saying, “If you get me out of this mess, I’ll stop doing what I’m doing,” I asked for help. I wouldn’t do that before. I’d been the Devil Rays’ No. 1 pick in the 1999 draft, supposedly a five-tool prospect. I was a big, strong man, and I was supposed to be able to handle my problems myself. That didn’t work out so well.

Every day I’m reminded that my story is bigger than me. It never fails. Every time I go to the ballpark, I talk to people who are either battling addictions themselves or trying to help someone else who is. Who talks to me? Just about everybody. I walked to the plate to lead off an inning in early May, minding my own business, when the catcher jogged out to the mound to talk to his pitcher. As I was digging in, the home plate umpire (I’m intentionally not naming him) took off his mask and walked around the plate to brush it off. He looked up at me and said, “Josh, I’m really pulling for you.

I’ve fought some battles myself, and I just want you to know I’m rooting for you.”

A father will tell me about his son while I’m signing autographs. A mother will wait outside the players’ parking lot to tell me about her daughter. They know where I’ve been. They look to me because I’m proof that hope is never lost.

They remind me that this isn’t really about baseball. It’s amazing that God allowed me to keep my baseball talents after I sat out three years and played only 15 games last season in A-ball. On May 6, I hit two homers against the Rockies at home, and I felt like I did in high school. I felt like I could do anything on the field.

I’ve been called the biggest surprise in baseball this year, and I can’t argue with that. If you think about it, how many people have gone from being a crack addict to succeeding at anything, especially something as demanding as major league baseball?

If I hadn’t been picked up by the Reds after the Rule 5 draft, which opened up a major league roster spot for me, I’d probably still be in A-ball. Instead, I’m hanging around .270 with 13 homers through 60 games with Cincinnati; not bad for a 26-year-old major league rookie. But the way I look at it, I couldn’t fail. I’ve been given this platform to talk about the hell I’ve been through, so it’s almost like I need to do well, like I don’t have a choice.

This may sound crazy, but I wouldn’t change a thing about my path to the big leagues. I wouldn’t even change the 26 tattoos that cover so much of my body, even though they’re the most obvious signs of my life temporarily leaving the tracks. You’re probably thinking, Bad decisions and addiction almost cost him his life, and he wouldn’t change anything? But if I hadn’t gone through all the hard times, this whole story would be just about baseball. If I’d made the big leagues at 21 and made my first All-Star team at 23 and done all the things expected of me, I would be a big-time baseball player, and that’s it.

Baseball is third in my life right now, behind my relationship with God and my family. Without the first two, baseball isn’t even in the picture. Believe me, I know.

I’LL NEVER forget Opening Day in Cincinnati. When they called my name during introductions and a sellout crowd stood and cheered, I looked into the stands and saw Katie and our two kids—Sierra, who’s nearly 2, and my 6-year-old stepdaughter, Julia—and my parents and Katie’s parents. I had to swallow hard to keep from breaking down right there. They were all crying, but I had to at least try to keep it together.

I pinch-hit in the eighth inning of that game against the Cubs, and Lou Piniella decided to make a pitching change before I got to the plate. The crowd stood and cheered me for what seemed like forever. It was the best sound I’ve ever heard. When I got into the box, Cubs catcher Michael Barrett looked up at me from his crouch and said, “You deserve it, Josh. Take it all in, brother. I’m happy for you.” I lined out to left, but the following week I got my first start and my first hit—a home run.

Whether I hit two bombs or strike out three times, like I did in a game against the Pirates, I never forget that I’m living with addiction. It’s just part of my life. Johnny Narron, my manager’s brother, is a big part of my recovery. He’s the Reds’ video coordinator, and he once coached me in fall baseball when I was 15. He looks after me on the road. When they pass out meal money before a trip—always in cash—they give mine to Johnny, and he parcels it out to me when I need it. I see no shame in that; it’s just one of the realities of my situation. I don’t need to be walking around with $400 in my pocket.

I know I’m different, and my teammates have been very accepting. Being a rookie in the big leagues, there are certain rituals involved, and one of them is carrying beer onto the plane. My teammates gave me that job on one of the first road trips, and I didn’t do it. I didn’t think it would be a good idea for me to be seen carrying beer onto a plane. They respected my decision.

I get a lot of abuse in visiting cities, but it only bothers me when people are vulgar around kids. The rest I can handle. Some of it is even funny. In St. Louis, I was standing in rightfield when a fan yelled, “My name is Josh Hamilton, and I’m a drug addict!” I turned around and looked at him with my palms raised to the sky. “Tell me something I don’t know, dude,” I said. The whole section started laughing and cheering, and the heckler turned to them and said, “Did you hear that? He’s my new favorite player.” They cheered me from that point on.

I live by a simple philosophy: Nobody can insult me as much as I’ve insulted myself. I’ve learned that I have to keep doing the right things and not worry about what people think. Fortunately, I have a strong support group with Katie, my family and Johnny. If I ever get in a bad situation, I know I would have to get out of it and give Johnny a call. The key is not getting myself into those situations, but we’ve talked about having a plan for removing myself just in case. It’s all part of understanding the reality of the addiction.

In spring training, when I hit over .400 and made the team, there was a lot of interest in my story. I decided to be open about what happened to me; early on, I was doing long interviews before my first game in every city. It’s been amazing how people have responded, and I think being honest helped. I can’t avoid my past, so I don’t try. It’s not always easy, though. I got sick in late May and ended up on the disabled list after going to the hospital with a stomach problem, and I knew I’d have to answer questions about whether I was using again. I can’t control what people think, but the years of drug abuse tore up my immune system pretty good. I get tested three times a week, and if it comes back positive, I know I’m done with baseball for life.

Aside from our struggles as a team, this season has been a dream for me. And that’s fitting, because in a way I had to learn how to dream all over again. When I was using, I never dreamed. I’d sleep the dead, dreamless sleep of a stalled brain. When I stopped using, I found my dreams

returned. They weren’t always good dreams; most of the ones I remember were haunting and dark. They stayed with me long after I woke up.

Within my first week of sobriety in October 2005—after I showed up at my grandmother’s house in Raleigh in the middle of the night, coming off a crack binge—I had the most haunting dream. I was fighting the devil, an awful-looking thing. I had a stick or a bat or something, and every time I hit the devil, he’d fall and get back up. Over and over I hit him, until I was exhausted and he was still standing.

I woke up in a sweat, as if I’d been truly fighting, and the terror that gripped me makes that dream feel real to this day. I’d been alone for so long, alone with the fears and emotions I worked so hard to kill. I’m not embarrassed to admit that after I woke up that night, I walked down the hall to my grandmother’s room and crawled under the covers with her. The devil stayed out of my dreams for seven months after that. I stayed clean and worked hard and tried to put my marriage and my life back together. I got word in June 2006 that I’d been reinstated by Major League Baseball, and a few weeks afterward, the devil reappeared.

It was the same dream, with an important difference. I would hit him and he would bounce back up, the ugliest and most hideous creature you could imagine. This devil seemed unbeatable; I couldn’t knock him out. But just when I felt like giving up, I felt a presence by my side. I turned my head and saw Jesus, battling alongside me. We kept fighting, and I was filled with strength. The devil didn’t stand a chance.

You can doubt me, but I swear to you I dreamed it. When I woke up, I felt at peace. I wasn’t scared. To me, the lesson was obvious: Alone, I couldn’t win this battle. With Jesus, I couldn’t lose.

I GET cravings sometimes, and I see it as the devil trying to catch me in a weak moment. The best thing I can do is get the thought out of my mind as soon as I can, so it doesn’t turn into an obsession. When it happens, I talk to him. I talk to the devil and say, “These are just thoughts, and I’m not going to act on them.” When I talk like that, when I tell him he’s not going to get the best of me, I find the thought goes away sooner.

Believe it or not, talking to the devil is no harder to explain than many other experiences I’ve had since that day last December when my life changed. I was working for my brother’s tree service in Raleigh, sending limbs through a chipper, when I found out I’d been selected by the Cubs and traded to the Reds in the Rule 5 draft.

But there is one story that sticks with me, so much so that I think of it every day. I was driving out of the players’ parking lot at Great American Ball Park after a game in May, with Katie and our two girls. There’s always a group of fans standing at the curb, hoping to get autographs, and I stop to sign as many as I can.

And on this particular night, a little boy of about 9 or 10, wearing a Reds cap, handed me a pen and something to sign. Nothing unusual there, but as I was writing the boy said, “Josh, you’re my savior.” This stopped me. I looked at him and said, “Well, thank you. Do you know who my savior is?” He thought for a minute. I could see the gears turning. Finally, he smiled and blurted out, “Jesus Christ.” He said it like he’d just come up with the answer to a test. “That’s exactly right,” I said. You see, I may not know how I got here from there, but every day I get a better understanding of why.

Source: http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3622003
Suggested Reading: The Things We Forget, Part 5: Josh Hamilton

Related posts:

1. A False Sense of Hope
2. Faith, Hope, and Desire

Photo by: Emmanuel Rosario

Play Me:

As always, I’m here to write because I’ve been thinking a lot lately. This time around it’s not because I’m stressed out or feeling negative. It’s because I’m inspired, motivated, and ready for a change. A change for the better. I used to see the negative out of a lot of things rather than the positive and those thoughts were poison seeping into my mind. Those no longer exist. For example, my brother and I purchased a tape converter for the car, since we don’t have a CD player, so we could play music off our iPhones/iPods. We’ve had it for well over a year now and something started to go wrong with the chord and we can’t hear music come out of our speakers that well. Rather than saying “oh, what a piece of crap this thing sucks” why not look at it and say “wow, this thing was really worth the $20 we paid for it! It’s allowed us to play countless hours of our music that we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to!” Back to the point.

In this day and age it’s very easy to get down on yourself and feel…hopeless. To feel like the world is against you and that nobody cares when in fact, they really do. It’s hard to really see beyond a person, their intentions, and who they really are. Fortunately, I’d like to give myself the credit for knowing I can easily tell a person’s character after shortly meeting with them and and get a feel for who they really are from the motives behind their drive.

What I’m getting at is that my brother and I have seen much success (not as much as we’d like, but we’re taking baby steps) with our website Drop Beats Not Bombs. Both of us have also seen a lot of success in our careers and from the perspective of growing as an individuals this past year. We’ve been through a lot, trust me. What I’ve realized through the development of my career, ambitions, and experiences is there are genuinely good-hearted individuals out in the world. People who want to help you reach your goals, keep you motivated, and truly see your vision. Though sometimes it may be hard to believe this and look beyond all the bullshit that may have previously occurred, you need find the needle(s) in the haystack. And when you do, it’s well worth it. The friendships and relationships you develop by networking are priceless.

So, when in doubt please know there’s always hope. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep pushing harder and harder to accomplish what you set out to accomplish and become who you desire to become.

Related posts:

1. A False Sense of Hope
2. Unfaltering Faith and Other Things…
3. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!

Photo by 500px user Olga Skrund

Time goes by fast. Real fast. It has been just about a year since moving out to Huntington Beach, California and boy have I learned a lot–personally and professionally. Overcoming adversity has been something I’ve been used to growing up. Challenges motivate me and push me to go the extra mile…when I set my mind to it. Failures disappoint me, but I’ve learned to pick myself back up. I absolutely hate failing and will not accept failure as an option.

When times get tough it’s easier to give up and throw in the towel. Trust me, I’ve been there multiple times this past year (2010). Sometimes it seems like you just can’t catch a break. You will. Sometimes it seems like the world is against you. It’s not. Sometimes it seems like you’re by yourself in a small dimly lit or dark room struggling to find your way out. You aren’t. Life can get pretty discouraging at times. Maybe a lot of time to make it sound more realistic! Trust me, I’ve been to the bottom of the barrel mentally and physically. My will has been tested time and time again. At times it seems like no matter how much effort you give or how hard you try nothing goes as you expected them to or planned them out to be.

I’ve felt discouraged on multiple occasions throughout the year. Just until recently, I’ve felt like no matter how hard I tried things wouldn’t get better. Negativity found it’s way and dug itself deeper into my mind. Thoughts ran through my head that used to never exist. I was constantly asking myself and to a higher being (God if he exists), why me? People closest to me may have not noticed, but I was miserable. I’m pretty good at putting up a front and acting like everything is normal. Especially to those around me. I’ve always known that friendships were priceless. In times like mentioned above friends and family are your backbone, your support.

Throughout this year, I’ve always known, but learned first hand that quality friendships and the time spent with those friends is priceless. And though it’s hard especially in these economic times, don’t grow old, look back, and regret the things you didn’t do with the people who meant the most to you. Be free and let loose every once in a while. Make the time to be around and surround yourself with the ones you care about most. I’m guilty of this one and haven’t made enough time to build upon existing relationships. To that I’m sorry.

Here are a few things I’ve learned during my first year as a struggling unemployed graduate, door-to-door salesman, and corporate puppet:

Creating balance is essential
Balance is essential to living a less stressful lifestyle. People work way too much these days. It’s not a bad thing, but sometimes we forget to make time for ourselves. It takes a lot out of you. What’s it worth going through the daily grind and letting life pass you by? I was working way too much at one point. I forgot to make time for myself because it felt like I didn’t have enough time in the day. Making the time to go out with friends or just do some personal reflection is quite refreshing. Don’t let yourself get caught up in a daily routine, that’s…well…boring!

The ‘Real World’ is all about experience
The school you graduated from and the degree you have mean absolutely nothing. It does mean something, but not everything. In this day and age with the technology that surrounds us we have access to unlimited resources of information. If you set your mind to it, apply yourself, and put forth the effort you can learn anything you want to learn. Your degree can get you into the door somewhere, but your experience is the deal breaker.

Suggested Reading: Will Paypal Billionaire Peter Thiel’s Team of College Dropouts Change Learning

At my current job I manage a book of over 80 accounts, optimize new and existing campaigns, responsible for the initial set-up of a new campaign, and the landing page copy writing. Guess what…there weren’t any classes that I took or was even offered on the subject of ‘Pay-Per-Click advertising’ and ‘search engine marketing’. Much of your success in this world (in my opinion) will be based on what you do with the hours after your normal work hours. What are you going to do to better your life? That’s why I carry the mentality and philosophy to always be learning. Apply myself at my job and when I’m at home. Eventually, this will hopefully assist me on reaching my goal and working for myself on my own terms!

Don’t let money dictate the way you live YOUR life
This one is kind of hard to follow. Trust me, I’ve been here as well. Not having money can be quite depressing because you just can’t go and do many of the things you want to do. Especially when your friends are always asking you to go out as well! Don’t get down on yourself and crawl into a cave because you don’t have any money. There are plenty of things to do that don’t require money and it’s much better than sitting at home complaining about the fact that you don’t have money! I do want to say though, make wholesome decisions and don’t be careless with the little bit of money you do have.

Look out for yourself, ’cause no one else will
No one has really screwed me over “royally” I guess you could say, but… When conversation arises and good advice is flowing I’m all ears. I’ve heard this many times from [older] successful people that I’ve had conversation with. The business world is a nasty world. The business world is where you separate the men from the boys.

Just the other day my brother and I were talking to a man by the name of Scott. He started a successful business and sold it back in 1999 for lots of money. Despite being screwed over on big deals a few times his advice was to watch out for the pricks. He said, “there are people out there who will take a carrot and stick it up your ass. They’ll act like your friend and fuck you over in the blink of an eye.” His message was clear as day and I definitely won’t forget it. He also advised us to be aggressive. We’re young, ambitious, have energy, and no obligations…to basically take the world by storm. Go after our wildest dreams and make something of them.

You must LEARN to make sacrifices
We’re all young (most of us) and love to go out and spend our money on who knows what. What I’ve learned is that making sacrifices in the business world (career and growth opportunity) and in our personal lives is essential. Think of it like this. You’re chilling with some friends drinking some beers or just shootin’ the shit. What you’re doing at that point in time is what you’re doing and nothing else. You’re obviously not going to be getting anything productive done. Tomorrow is a new day though, and what you do with your time is up to you!

In the business/corporate world you must make unwilling sacrifices that may not seem too glamorous at times, but will pay off if you stick with it. It’s crazy when you look at the breadcrumbs of the many coincidences that occur in life. Here’s my past year in a nutshell. Work door to door sales commission only for 5 months, apply for inside sales position at Internet Brands but get interviewed for the marketing support analyst position and get the job, work at Internet Brands for 6 months, apply to Deluxe Corporation and because of my experience in the non-corporate world as well as at Internet Brands get a job offer. As the year progressed things gradually got better. It didn’t seem like they would at times, but they did. It may seem like hell right now…your hard work and perseverance will pay off. Trust me, it will. I lost faith in myself many times and when you do that it makes things so much harder. Don’t lose faith in yourself and believe in your capabilities! Each job was a stepping stone and without each job preceding the other I wouldn’t be where I a today.

Making more time in the day isn’t impossible
Do you find yourself occasionally saying “there’s not enough time in the day“! Referring back to the creating balance is essential topic, it never seems like you have enough time in the day. There’s always so much to do and just not enough time. I’ve figured out the secret to making more time in the day. Some say it’s impossible, but it’s not. You can literally slow down time… just kidding! Sorry, I had to. Anyways, the only way to gain more time in your day to accomplish more is by going to bed later and waking up earlier. Don’t push yourself to exhaustion doing this. Get your rest, but put the hours you’re awake towards being productive and getting the things done you want to get done. You need to get done. This way, you will have extra time for yourself to do what you want, when you want, and with who you want.

This post is getting a little lengthy. I know there’s more advice that has crossed my mind. When I remember those topics I’ll make another post. For now, this will suffice. Hope you enjoyed this read and feel free to share your thoughts if you so please.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Live Life in the Shadows

Photo by 500px user Bogdan Nicolae

There’s been a part of my sub-conscious lately that, for some odd reason, keeps letting doubt creep into my mind! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Let me repeat that just one more time. I hate it! Now that that’s out we’ll move on. Many of you have probably read some of my previous posts so I’m sure you’ve been able to make your own assessment of what kind of person I am (hopefully it’s good). For that reason I’ll save both you and I some time and won’t get into the whole spiel about how I’m this and that and how you should take my word for it. Moving on…

Getting back to the point and the direction I want to go with this post. Our society often creates a false sense of hope in the minds of unsuspecting victims. Unfortunately, myself included. Creating ideas through elaborate marketing and advertising schemes or even by ways or the means of friends and family. What I mean by this is that we all have high hopes, dreams, and expectations for our future. For example, there’s not one person who can’t say they haven’t watched some show (think Entourage) and while watching that show said to themselves, “I want to live that lifestyle” or “Someday I’ll drive an Aston Martin” or “I want girls and to party like rock star.” How about flipping through a magazine and you see something, we’ll say for this example, a Harry Winston diamond ring that God forbid one day you will own. Maybe you drove past a house (a mansion for better sake of a term) and said to yourself, “Daaanngg that’s what I want my house to look like!” YES! One day it will all be ours…just wait…one day…

It’s sad these materialistic objects become the focus of our lives. That we take the most simplest of things for granted–like going for a walk outside or spending time with loved ones. You can travel to a third world country and in some areas find human beings, yes you read correctly, HUMAN BEINGS who are genuinely happy with their day to day lives with the simplest of things. They don’t have the material objects we want and desire, but don’t necessarily need. They don’t know what a cell-phone or iPod is or even what they look like for that matter. These are technologies that we submerse ourselves in everyday and something that they’ll never probably get to experience. It’s great that we have big dreams, goals, and future with all the fancy, hip, and cool stuff. But it’s also pathetic that we don’t take the time to sit back and realize that we’re truly lucky to be where we’re at today, regardless of the situations we’re currently struggling to get through as individuals and as a society.

I think and dream big. I hope you do to. Because there’s nothing wrong with that. However, as I mentioned before there’s been some doubt that has managed to find it’s way into my mind. We’re not bad people to want and desire all the material things portrayed in the media every single day. Are we? It’s good to want that stuff because it means you want more out of your life. That you aren’t going to settle for average. Simply put…it’s motivational. For me, the doubt that I have allowed to creep into my mind has slapped me across the face. Not once, but twice. As much as I am entrepreneurial, business minded, and goal oriented I’ve been pulled back down to reality. “Realistically where am I going to be in 10 years?,” is the kind of thought that is going through my head. Versus the optimistic view of what was previously going through my head, “I’m going to start a business, get rich, and in 2 years have everything I ever wanted!” Yeah…right…unless I’m real lucky. The odds of that being one in a million. I’ve realized that it’s going to take time, effort, and dedication to get where I want to be. It’s just hard for me to accept that in the end I may fail despite my efforts or whether or not I put more blood, sweat, and tears into whatever it is I end up doing than someone else who may have got lucky or put forth less time and effort.

The realization that I’ve come to is that sometimes we get get trapped into a sense of belief or hope that we can’t escape or are too stubborn to admit otherwise. The belief that I will own a multi-million dollar company one day and drive my Lamborghini to work. I intend on making that a reality… it’s great and all, but realistically and statistically the odds are against us. Stubbornness can hurt you and learning to let go and move on (knowing when to quit) is one characteristic one must acquire. Sometimes you ARE the stronger person for letting go than trying to hold on. Here’s the definition of insanity by Albert Einstein, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I know he intended the interpretation of that quote another way, but you can’t keep doing something that you know deep down inside isn’t going to change. We’ve all been stuck in that position before. Don’t create a false sense of hope or even a false sense of reality and tell yourself it’s going to work! On the flip side, we wouldn’t be where we are today without the efforts of great minds and individuals before us who just wouldn’t give up. Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times when trying to create the light bulb. There are unique and amazing stories like that and don’t get me wrong you could be one of them. I could be one of them. Actually, let’s be one of them.

As you can tell I see both sides. Never give up because if you’re doing something you believe in you should give it your all and put your effort into it. But then again if something isn’t working why keep wasting time, which is priceless, and keep trying? We only get one life (yes I know I’m pointing out the obvious) and I guess that’s up to you what you want to spend your time doing with it. Life is tough and making decisions is tough. A lot of the time we get thrown rocks when we were expecting marbles. It’s what you do with those rocks to polish them down and create your marbles.

I don’t even know if this whole thing made any sense. It’s just what’s been going through my mind lately and I wanted to get it out and write about it. It didn’t really come out the way I expected it to, but maybe I can come back at a later time and edit this bad boy. To me, sometimes we lose our own perception of reality because we get lost in a false sense of hope and create ideas and thoughts (think Inception) that aren’t real. Or that we get stuck doing something because others have created an environment that makes you feel guilty if you give up.

Disclosure: I began working on this post back in November 2010. I let some of my posts sit in the queue…It’s refreshing to come back with a clear mind and re-edit posts I was having a hard time completing. Think of it as wine…aging in the queue whilst getting better as time progresses.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!
2. What is the Key to Staying Motivated?
3. Become a Quitter at Quitting

Photo by DeviantArt user ni-ki-tas

I’ve probably put this quote in previous posts, but doing some morning reflection on my drive to work made me think of it some more. One of my favorite quotes is by George Seaton, “Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.” When most people look, read, or hear that quote they don’t know how to interpret it. Myself included. It seems pretty simple to understand, but actually applying it in your life is a whole other story.

My interpretation of the quote is that regardless of whether or not every nerve in your body is telling you not to do something, you do it. You follow your heart. Why? Because you believe in yourself, your decisions, and your capabilities to accomplish whatever it is you may be trying to accomplish or to succeed in whatever it is you may be trying to excel in.

This quote was taken from the movie The Sunset Limited. If you haven’t seen it, see it. No action and takes place in one room, but amazing dialog. This quote got me thinking as well… It’s the perception of reality that we have in our minds that which gives us hope. It’s all about having a purpose and what keeps me waking up in the mornings are my dreams. My dreams and hopes to get where I want to be in life.

I wish I could write some more and put to words the thoughts running through my head, but I’m having a difficult time expressing myself. Just a few things I wanted to share, though.

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“The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.”

-Joan Borysenko

This will be short and sweet.

My view and philosophy on life goes as follows. We only live once. We have one life to make the most of everything, literally everything. I don’t want to live my life and look back when I’m older asking myself “what if” saying I could have done that or I should have done that. I want to look back on my life and tell my friends, family, and my kids, “look at all the shit I did growing up”.

Work hard. Play hard. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from doing what you want to do. If you want to do something, do it. If it’s something you think you’ll regret later, who cares. You live and you learn. Make your life worthwhile and worth sharing.

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1. Life is Too Short to Wake Up With Regrets

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There’s a part of me that wants to drop everything I’m doing on a daily basis, give it up, and do something that truly makes me happy (or that I think will make me happy). I want to forget about the past and everything that has happened and start a clean slate. As much as I want to do that today; start fresh and pretend like it’s a whole new life, I won’t. Why? Because there’s doubt running through my head. Then I start thinking about how this doubt is able to spawn within my own thoughts. Where is this all coming from? Me. I’m slowly letting it happen to myself.

I believe that self-doubt presents itself within our thoughts, minds, and through our emotions because we let society influence our lives. The inevitable will occur whether or not it’s through your family, friends, government, etc. So let me repeat myself again…OUR LIVES. Something of which we have complete control over, but for some odd reason let society and other people dictate what we do with this thing so called life. One of the few things we only have one of. Now, please explain to me why we’re letting society set expectations for ourselves when we should be setting our own expectations and defying the conventional way to do things? Why do we let others control what we do and how we do it (influenced decisions because of a fear or doubt that the way you want to do something may not be acceptable)? By this I mean, we may believe in something but get told that that something is not possible or it’s stupid. This leads into the why do we ultimately base our decisions from these critics? We live once. Ignore them and pursue your dreams. Our most valuable asset in this life is time. It’s this intangible concept that we can’t put a price on or say to someone “hey, I’m going to the bank to withdraw more time!” It just doesn’t happen like that.

Forgetting about the past and starting fresh may be scary for some. It’s hard, but the truth is it’s the past. Let go and move on. Great people have come into my life and for that I am grateful. Whether or not some of these people will be a factor in my life in the future, only God knows. What I have learned, however, is to surround yourself by like-minded individuals who will constantly and consistently challenge you by pushing you to your limits in regards to all aspects of life (you interpret that how you’d like). Ultimately, the qualities of trust and character are two key ingredients (and variables?) that you must find and learn about with another individual.

I decided to include this into the post as well because it’s what’s going through my head right now. I know if I put it off I’ll forget about it and won’t write about it either. Along the lines of being “happy” and in constant search for this other concept, which is also intangible like life, that I hope to experience and pump my veins with one day. And I would also like to share happiness with those I care about. The ones who have been there for me through thick and thin. The ones who have shun a positive light when I may have been sitting in a dimly lit or dark room. You know who you are.

In recent posts you’ve seen me write about how I’m going to start a business and this and that. Blah blah blah, right? This is, I guess in some way, my journey to hopefully hop on the right path in the pursuit of happyness and to find a passion that I truly care about.

As you’ve read in previous posts I thought happiness was getting rich and living the lifestyle of a celebrity or athlete. I also thought that getting rich was going to happen quickly. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works and it’s hard for me to accept, but these last few years have put things into perspective and I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not going to be a millionaire by the end of this year. Damn. What I’ve learned is that it takes commitment, hard work, dedication, and passion to make something into a reality. You want to build a business? Great! Well, ask yourself what you’re going to need to do in order to start that business. For most of us, myself included, we haven’t started a business or gone through the trials and tribulations that our predecessors have. I truly believe that you can’t understand something to the fullest extent until you’ve actually experienced it yourself. You’ve experienced something, learned from it, and now you have the knowledge and a new acquired skill set for the future. You’ll have a new found understanding that you didn’t have before. You’ll probably be thinking, “Wow, my parents were actually right!” Getting rich isn’t just about money either. You can be rich with the right people in your life (wow that was corny..sorry)!

It’s almost been a year since I graduated. No, not high school (since people still say I look 18)…yes…college! This is my experience that I’ve gone through. I know some of you probably haven’t experienced “real life” yet, and I don’t expect you to understand what I’m saying here. I’m not all that wise yet, either. Maybe one day I’ll be able to grow a long grey berard and look wise I probably sound like your parents or professors right now, whatever I’m saying right now is probably going in one ear out the other. Then you have that ah hah! moment where you realize, “HOLY SH*T thaaaaaat’s what they were talking about.” So here it goes…

What I learned and applied in the classroom taught me absolutely nothing about the real world. Books with case studies that we read gave me the knowledge how to do the basics in accounting, finance, conducting research, and writing marketing plans and strategies…sometimes for made up businesses and the list goes on. It was a matter of who could memorize the most amount of information in the least amount of time before the exam! I sometimes think why I wasted, let me rephrase that, spent 4 years of my life attending a university! We could go back and forth about the benefits of attending college, this and that, but I don’t want to go there. Don’t take me as a fool who thinks there was absolutely no benefit to college. There was.

This is my experience. After graduating and sending in / applying to jobs left and right I realized one thing. College didn’t prepare me for this. Sure, the career center offered workshops on how to “fix up” your resume, write a cover letter, and how to go into an interview but it wasn’t the nitty gritty stuff. I showed up to a few interviews (never having done formal interviews in the past) and just like any newbie I was caught off guard with a few questions. My nerves were tense, my pits were sweaty, and I had no clue if the bullsh*t coming out of my mouth was even making sense. I was later asked back for a few second and third round interviews. Let me tell you, my classes didn’t at all prepare me what it was going to be like working a 5 hour day and analyzing data to the core with some of these companies. Especially since most of this stuff was internet related (pay-per-click advertising data, analytical data, eCommerce data, trends, etc.). None of which most schools don’t offer courses in, but need to adapt to our generation’s evolving technology and offer these freaking courses! Fortunately, I’ve taught myself most of this stuff and understand the surface of it all, but never really had any formal training or guidance on how to interpret some of the analytical data. I understand that we’re all human and should have our own level of competencies and creativeness. That these interviews are designed to see who can think on top of their feet and all that nonsense. I just wish I was more prepared [for the unknown].

Then we get to the part of my life where I started a sales job. I learned more at that job in four months than I learned in any of my classes. I learned basic sales techniques, how to be an effective leader, and time/territory management. We didn’t have classes in college that were geared solely on leadership, which is an essential quality for anyone to have in this thing referred to as life. This is knowledge I can take with me anywhere in the future and apply. And I paid how much for a college degree? I’ve moved on and am now working full-time as a marketing analyst. What I’ve learned in my first three weeks at this J.O.B. cannot be compared to what little I learned in the classroom or from reading a book. The pay may suck, but I’m learning and that’s all that matters to me. If I’m not learning (about something I’m genuinely interested in), I get bored. Fact.

I completely lost where I was going with this. But the point I want to get across is that you must build the necessary fundamentals to go on and do great things. Build a solid foundation to grow from. Once you’ve built a solid foundation then start building another on top of that. It’s like a…pyramid? Except your foundation shouldn’t get smaller as you build upon it! You can’t skip a level either, that’s just impossible (there can’t be an invisible foundation in the middle of two solid foundations!). It’s all about your experiences and how you utilize those experiences to keep building and growing as a person. Some experiences may be negative. Don’t ignore them, take something away from it so the next time you run into that situation you can avoid it or approach it differently.

This was a long rambling by me…I hope it made sense to whoever may be reading this. I have a difficult time expressing how I feel and putting them to words, but need to let my fingers flow and get it out occasionally. Thanks for reading this 1,805 word post. Until next time my friends and silent readers…!

On another note, this is one of my favorite songs right now. Surprisingly inspirational. It’s titled Breathe & Shine a mashup of John Legend’s Shine and Sia’s Breathe Me by LeeDM101. Don’t forget to Download this great song!

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This quote was taken from the movie Step Up 3D. My brother and I watched it last week and at first I wasn’t too sure what to expect. I like the quote “To travel is better than to arrive,” because it truly is about the journey we take in life. Sometimes the journey isn’t what we expected. I, for one, know that first hand. However, it’s the knowledge we gain, the people we meet, and the mistakes we learn from that gets us to where we want to be in life.

In my opinion, when we just have the destination in mind it skews the direction we want to go in and the way we ultimately perceive things. By only seeing the destination in mind we don’t realize the obstacles we’re going to have to go through to get there. I think this quote truly defines that we won’t get anywhere in life without having to work hard for whatever it is we want to achieve or where we want to get. We WILL have to work hard and put in the effort to learn. We WILL meet people, make friendships, and build relationships–some that last and some that don’t, unfortunately. And we WILL make mistakes. With those mistakes (and failures) we’ll have to learn to pick ourselves back up.

I also think that this quote is telling us not to take the simple things in life for granted. Every day we’re fortunate enough to just take a breathe of fresh air. A lot of us don’t think about the lives we live on a daily basis (sometimes thinking we’re miserable). We don’t realize that there are kids and families around the world who barely make $1 dollar a day, don’t have food on the table (or even a table to enjoy meals at), and their main focus is survival. We’re so caught up about the way we look and what others may think about us when in reality it doesn’t matter. We often think too much about the future and what’s up ahead than just enjoying the now.

What makes life so precious? It’s the journey we go through. What we experience and what we gain from those experiences while headed towards the destination. The end result.

I’d like to hear what your thoughts are about this quote and even the experiences and journeys you’ve gone through in life! Feel free to share in the comments below! I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from anyone who reads this!

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2. Don’t Be An Average Joe, Be A Champion!

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I wanted to write something that would motivate those of you who are taking the time to read this post. For many people, the paths we decide to take in life are indirectly dictated by those who surround us. Whether it’s our parents, friends, professors, and co-workers we always think about the consequences and trade-offs in whatever it is we’re trying to decide upon. Most of the time we make a decision, or choose a path, that we know is safe and will be accepted amongst the people in our lives as well as society. That’s why there are more Average Joes in our society than there are champions. People settle for mediocrity, let Average Joes influence their decisions, and being them down to a lower standard of thinking. In my opinion, being a champion doesn’t have to mean you’re great at a sport or on a team that wins championships. Being a champion is someone who is able to take control of their life despite of what may others think and the criticisms that may come along with those actions. The difference between an Average Joe and a champion is that the champion is willing to go the extra mile in whatever it is he is putting his mind to.

So first of all, in order to be a champion, one must create good great habits. Ask yourself, when no one else is looking what are you doing? A Champion is always doing something productive–in a sense always learning. Learning new techniques to become better at whatever it is he’s doing. While he’s going the extra mile the Average Joe is sitting on the couch watching television only wishing he could live the life he visioned 15 years ago. The Average Joe is making excuses to why he can’t get up and go for a run or workout to better his health even though he made a new years resolution to better his health. The Average Joe is saying to himself “I have time to do that tomorrow,” “someone else will do it for me,” and “I don’t want to do that right now.”

Creating great habits is essential to becoming successful. Let’s say, for example, you’re building a team in your business. You hire someone and they’re doing a great job. As the leader that person looks up to you. You’re constantly under a microscope. If that person sees you slacking off, cruising Facebook on the computer, taking 15 minute breaks every hour that person is going to pick up on those habits say to himself, “he’s doing it so I can do it” and those habits will be increased ten fold. When you hire someone else they see that person taking a 15 minute break and start taking a 30 minute break. These bad habits will grow exponentially. Yikes! Everyday that goes by and you tell yourself I’m going to sleep in for ten extra minutes. Have you noticed that after a month goes by you’re still laying in bed and that ten extra minutes has become an extra hour. That’s an hour of your life that you can NEVER get back! You need to hold yourself accountable for your actions and stop blaming everyone else and their mothers for your problems or why something didn’t turn out the way you had hoped for.

The quote above is perfect. I hope you take it to heart. It’s just like the saying you are what you eat. Create good habits in the workplace, being a parent, as a friend, as an athlete, and good things will come from them. Nothing comes easily, only through hard-work, dedication, and time will you see results. Yeah, life blows. It’s hard. Nothing’s easy. Get that through your head. The leaders and Champions that we look up to on a daily basis didn’t get to the top of the pedestal without dedication and hard-work. Get back up on your feet and figure out what you need to differently so you don’t fall down again. If you fall down again get back up. It’s the people that fall down and don’t get back up that become Average Joes. Champions ALWAYS get back up on their feet.

It’s the mindset you take with you wherever you go and with whatever you do that separates you from the Average Joes. Champions and successful people are made. They created the habits necessary to reach the top. They had visions and goals that towered the obstacles that got in their way. When times got tough they didn’t give up when the others around them did. They pushed harder and fought harder until they reached the other side of whatever obstacle that was slowing them down. Once Champions reach the top they don’t slack off. They work harder than everyone else around them because they have to. Making their way to the top was easier because they knew what they had to do in order to become the best. When someone was better than them they did those things and figured out a way to do them better than the person ahead of them. Seeing that other person above them just fueled the fire.

What I’m trying to get at is that Champions don’t have bad habits. When Michael Jordan missed a free throw to win a game what do you think he did while the other athletes showered and went home? He was on the court after everyone else left shooting free throws. When Tiger Woods misses his putts where is he after the day is over? On the putting green tweaking whatever it is he needs to tweak so he makes his putts the next day. When Tony Gwen was in a slump what did he do? Took extra batting practice before a game and after the game. These guys had the desire to become the best. Being just like everyone else and complacent with where they were at wasn’t good enough for them. They wanted more and they did what they had to do to get to where they wanted to be.

Next time you find yourself making excuses or blaming everyone else but yourself pouting because this and that didn’t work out the way you had hoped for. Take a second to step back and re-evaluate yourself. Change your mentality, attitude, and blame no one else but yourself. You’re where you’re at because that’s where you set yourself up to be by the habits you, not anyone else, created.

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2. Put Two Feet In…

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So, where to begin. These last four weeks have been exhausting. I’ve been working literally 12 hour days with my sales job. To top that off I haven’t had a day off from work because I spend my weekends working at a restaurant in Fashion Island in Newport Beach. Now you’re saying to yourself, “man Gregg must be making some big bucks.” Not yet. I’m still working on that part. I’m doing alright, but not performing at the level I know I can perform at. It’s rough though, I just want some time to myself and to be able to have the freedom to do the things that make me happy. I just don’t understand how people manage to work their whole lives. How they’re content with mediocrity and with the same rituals and habits everyday living paycheck to paycheck. I want more in my life and am willing to sacrifice anything to get to where I want to be.

I mentioned that the job is challenging, fun, and discouraging and I mean it in every sense possible. It’s challenging because I’ve never done entry-level sales business-to-business or business-to-residential. I’m not going to lie, I’m a shitty sales person and I know that I have a lot of ground to make up if I ever want to be a top dog high rolling the office every week. It was a reality check when I saw my name at the bottom of the production list last week. I never want to see my name at the bottom again and I never want to feel the punch in the gut I felt when I saw my name at the bottom. It was like, damn this is embarrassing I don’t want to experience this feeling of shame ever. I’ve always been good at anything I do…but I’ve never been great. So now I’m challenging myself to be great at what I do (sales for the time being).

I was fortunate enough to have the chance to listen to a bronze medalist speak at my office earlier this week. His name was Simon Cho. This kid is 18 years old. He grew up on skates since he was 3 years old and it’s the only thing he knows. I was able to take a lot away from the things he said, which I hope to apply to my life in general. First of all, Olympians are the top 1% of athletes IN THE WORLD. You don’t become an Olympian by half-assing it all the time when you’re training. You must have the willingness to sacrifice everything else. Like I said, you can’t half ass something and expect to be great. For Simon, he put 100% of his time into skating. This made him better than his fellow peers because they were putting 50% towards skating and the other 50% towards their studies in school. You must have the diligence and consistency to keep at it. It takes someone special to keep doing something for 10 years and not giving up. To stay motivated you must be able to answer the question why you’re doing it. Simon, for the longest time, was doing it for his father. He saw how much time his father sacrificed for Simon’s career to get him where he is today. Simon finally began skating for himself and not his father. We have to be doing something that we want to and not because someone else wants us to. You must have the support and atmosphere to act as a backbone when you truly just want to call it quits because you don’t think you can take it anymore. Athletes mentally quit all the time and lose track of their vision and don’t see the future. When Simon wanted to quit and didn’t think he could make the Olympic team. He was having a bad season so he called his Dad and said “get me out of here,” and his Dad said that he believed in him. He was right. We all go through struggles and have to overcome those struggles. Quitting cannot be an option. We must be quitters at quitting. When standing on the podium Simon said that is was like a piece of Utopia. He had flashbacks of all the hardships he overcame to get to that point. It was the journey that got him there that’s been the most valuable.

Now that I got through that I wanted to bring up the fact that you should ALWAYS have a student mentality when it comes to any endeavor you take on personally and professionally. Knowledge is priceless and I’ve realized that I can learn something new every day as long as I apply myself and am willing to grow as a person mentally, physically, and emotionally.

My job is also fun. I get to surround myself with a bunch of young, like minded individuals who want more out of life than to settle for average. I’ve never been in an atmosphere with so many young go getters who are also there to support each other every day while at the office and in the field. It truly amazes me how much of a family everyone is outside of work as well.

Lastly, working in general is discouraging, but sales has made me feel quite discouraged at times. I’ve learned that I must keep my head held high and a positive attitude. Not to let the little things get to me and know that there’s always tomorrow. It’s discouraging when you come home from a long days work and didn’t close an account. “Fuck, I just worked a 10+ hour day for absolutely nothing.” There’s nights I’m driving home constantly asking myself “what the fuck did I get myself into” or “why the hell am I putting myself through this/doing this when I could work a shitty job for a wage that’s less demanding and requires less energy.” Yup, that’s what goes through my mind. Then I take a step back and realize that I need to take a deep breath and focus on how and what I need to improve.

Overall, the experience has been great. Having experienced first hand entry-level sales has allowed me to develop a skill set I can take with me anywhere I go for the rest of my life. Sales is a great vehicle to develop a strong root system and grow from that point on. At first I was worried about the performance based commission only structure, but have become fond of the whole structure. This is because at a job that pays a wage the employer pays his employee just enough so he doesn’t quit. The employee works just hard enough not to get fired. With a commission only structure I have to work my ass off to get paid. I have to be willing to learn and stay motivated in order to succeed out in the field. It lights a fire under my ass because if I slack off I won’t close any accounts and if I don’t close any accounts the bills don’t get paid.

What I wanted to get at is that in whatever you pursue you must be willing to put two feet in. You’ll never reach your true potential if you never dedicate 100% of your efforts towards whatever it is you want to excel at. That’s why my short-term goal is to close enough accounts in during the week (8 accounts) so I can generate a steady income every week high enough to quit my job at the restaurant. This is so I can work my sales job Monday through Saturday with nothing else on my mind and have one day (Sunday) to relax, reflect, and gather my thoughts for the upcoming week.

And no, I wouldn’t trade this job in for anything else. Give me one year and we’ll see who’s on top!

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